Freedom in a Bottle

Howdy!

I always greet with a "howdy" for some reason. Anyways, this weekend was definitely one I'm not going to forget!

On Saturday, my parents paid me a little visit and brought me some food! Although I didn't get to study as much as I did, I had a great time with them whether it was my mom showing me her new "idea" or fixing my bike's flat tire. Coming back from Walmart, my sister decides to give me a call and let me know that she was also stopping by for a visit! I was completely shocked and ecstatic because I was going to be able to see her! Even after a long day of adventure, I still went to Mugwalls (my second home) and studied for a little while. Andy was on his way out but decided to join me to hang out. On Sunday, I was extremely blessed because I woke up early and volunteered to help out the crew who is in charge of putting things up before service, and taking them down at the end of service. Therefore, I woke up at 6:40 and left to go do just that with Andy, Sam, Justin and about 7 more people. After we put up everything, I went home to take a quick shower and get ready for Celebration Service only to find out, when I arrived, that a preacher from Waco was going to bring the word. Excited and pumped, I took my seat beside Tony whom I have not seen or heard from in nearly 3 weeks!!

During worship, I heard God telling me to read Acts 10:9-15 which talks about Peter having a vision from God to eat "all kinds of creatures on four feet,birds and reptiles..." I was completely stumped by what that meant...until I read verse 15:

"The voice spoke to him a second time, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean."

When I read this, I got a really strong feeling in my chest, one that just left me nearly breathless with my heart racing as never before! I didn't know what God was trying to tell me. The preacher had begun his sermon; he introduced himself and how he came to know the pastor and whatnot. A few minutes later, still confused by the passage I read, He began talking about God loving you through your weakness and using that weakness to bring forth power; proclaiming that His grace is enough! At once, verse 15 just shouted out to me and I didn't quite panic, but I felt a multitude of emotions just shower over me. I began to think back to so many painful memories that I had repressed over the years. The things that I thought I had taken care of, were still lingering to my heart as very tiny, thin strings. My heart was just overwhelmed and I began to tear up inside, but I quickly looked up to dry the tears and get back into the preaching. Then, when I thought I was okay, he comes out with a story of how a man around 1900 was fishing and a huge and terrible storm was headed for his home town. Being out at sea, he took cover as best as he could and prayed that God would keep him and his family safe. After the storm subsided, he raced back to town and literally leapt over houses to get to his and when he arrived, he found his wife and 2 children dead. He couldn't believe what happened and was devastated. After several years of anguish, he remarried and proceeded to have 10 kids, one of whom was the grandmother of the preacher standing before us. If that tragedy had never happened, then this person would've never been born. That's when it hit me...I finally knew what God wanted to tell me.

For too long, have I been harboring fears of rejection, betrayal and abandonment (mostly abandonment). There were several instances in my life that I could not help but hate people. Sure I would be "friendly" and be a good person, but in reality, I couldn't feel happiness or security around anyone. There were specific people who befriended me and when I felt that I could trust them enough, they turned around and abandoned me at times when I needed a friend. I grew up with a hatred in my heart, never wanting to feel vulnerable because then I would just get hurt and tossed aside like yesterday's garbage. Even after I experienced God in a whole new level, I couldn't trust anyone and decided that it would be just God and I. The obvious flaw is that, if you can't love people, then you don't know God, for God is love. I couldn't live in God if I didn't love on people. Eventually, I began to fade away and let my fears take over me. However, being a child of God, and made clean by the Blood of the Lamb, I was not redeemed to be called unclean, but rather a clean soul who is free from the bondage of sin and satan's lies. Therefore, God was telling me to stop thinking about what happened before He cleaned me, because what matters most is after my redemption.

So in response to this overwhelming cycle of thoughts, memories, convictions and hopelessness, the preacher said that God loves you and He does things for a reason. In moments of weakness, God can and will give you the strength you need. Satan, however, will stop at nothing to tell you that you're weak, nothing, insignificant, worthless and constantly remind you of your insecurity; all of which acts like a recorded tape of anguish. God, however, will use those weaknesses to bring forth power and eventually destroy that tape of anguish and install a recording of love! Of course, I couldn't hold back the tears any longer and began weeping softly in my chair. I was doing okay until my nose started running so I quickly went to the restroom to grab a napkin, only to find that Tony and Wiley followed me. Completely astonished that someone would care that much, I was speechless as they just comforted and encouraged me; everything Tony said was exactly everything I imagined God was trying to tell me. With that, I felt an IMMENSE pressure being pulled from my heart and a flood of relief and peace just bombarded my heart.

Never did I realize that if you receive Christ as your Savior, you become part of the body of Christ. In doing so, you are joined by everyone who has received Him as well, so you don't have to go at it alone; you don't have to struggle with life by yourself because the Body of Christ is standing behind you while God stands in front of you.

It's been so long that I asked God to give me a friend...now, He has helped me realize that all along I had so many. Not only am I blessed to have these two men of God stand beside me as friends, I'm also blessed to have such a wonderful church stand beside me, helping me with anything I may need.

Truly, this was an eventful weekend that will not be forgotten until the day I die!

Much Blessings,
Pablo