Howdy,
It's been a super long while since I've posted a blog! My, oh my, has the time flown by...as quick as a beaver doing cartwheels I usually never say!
So, you know that feeling you get when things don't really go the way you plan and it takes a couple of days to coup with what God has in store for you? Well, I felt that just last week so its still fresh in my mind! I had this huge plan for the Christmas break that I sort of ignored what God wanted for me during this time. Instead of taking a class and getting it over with by next semester, God really wants me to rest and take it easy. I had no idea why or what good it would do. That is, until I took a step back to analyze my situation. I had gone through the semester just completely stressed about many things and it had devoured me. Certainly, a class that meets every day for about 4 hours is not the best break ever. Of course, I did what any person who thought he was right would do: I quarreled with my Dad. Obviously, He has more wisdom and knows what is the best path for me so I gave up as soon as I challenged Him.
At first, I was fighting to keep myself from fleshly desires and picking fights with my family about certain things, but now I actually just focus on my Beloved and things just fall into place. Petty arguments aren't touched, frustration is history and any bitterness seems to have left me. I actually feel the way I'm supposed to feel:free. I had this awesome picture when I arrived home on Monday. I was following Christ with my cross. Obviously, carrying a cross would severely slow me down, but what amazed me was that every morning, I would put it into the ground and actually crucify myself and my spirit would come out and run towards Him. That really wrecked me because I felt that it was a declaration to myself: I CAN die to my flesh every morning and live in the Spirit! Thrilled about this during quiet time yesterday outside my house on my hammock, I ended up walking around my house declaring it a home free from any evil spirits and welcoming the Holy Spirit to dwell within it! I can actually say that it feels good to be at home resting. My mom may not agree too much with me not getting a job, I don't really agree with it either, but I'm finding different ways to bless my family and actually feel like I want to be here. I still wish that fellow antiochers were nearby so I can stop by for a visit, but its ok. I think I can manage with just Daddy. =)
Later days,
Pabs
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Get Up With God
Get Up With God
Howdy,
So I found this site "getupwithgod.com" and it is really good, especially because it gives me some topic to think about throughout the day. Today, I read an old entry about Forgiving One Another and the story that he put really wrecked me. He wrote about post-WWII and how a pastor who had survived the concentration camps preached about forgiveness. At the end of the sermon, one of the guards from her camp, whom she had remembered, came up to her and said that he had become a Christian and believes that God forgave him for all the wrong things he had done, but he wanted to hear from her that she forgave him. At first, she was reluctant to forgive him, but the Holy Spirit came upon her as she shook his hand and He pretty much wrecked them.
This just got me thinking that despite everything that everyone has done to me in my life, I can get over myself, feelings and all, and forgive them. Whether it was being teased in grade school or being severely wounded by my best friend at age 10, I can forgive them just as I have been forgiven. Forgiveness certainly does break chains and bonds formed long ago. Jesus forgave the guards that whipped, cursed, mocked and spat on Him. He said, "forgive them, for the know not what they are doing". I found myself saying that same thing when I went over all the people whom I needed to forgive during my quiet time. They really didn't know what they were doing or what the outcome would be from that situation. My best friend didn't know that saying he didn't want to be friends anymore would cause such a huge heart wound, he was 10 years old! If Jesus can forgive me for turning away from Him everyday, then I can forgive Juan.
Pabs
Howdy,
So I found this site "getupwithgod.com" and it is really good, especially because it gives me some topic to think about throughout the day. Today, I read an old entry about Forgiving One Another and the story that he put really wrecked me. He wrote about post-WWII and how a pastor who had survived the concentration camps preached about forgiveness. At the end of the sermon, one of the guards from her camp, whom she had remembered, came up to her and said that he had become a Christian and believes that God forgave him for all the wrong things he had done, but he wanted to hear from her that she forgave him. At first, she was reluctant to forgive him, but the Holy Spirit came upon her as she shook his hand and He pretty much wrecked them.
This just got me thinking that despite everything that everyone has done to me in my life, I can get over myself, feelings and all, and forgive them. Whether it was being teased in grade school or being severely wounded by my best friend at age 10, I can forgive them just as I have been forgiven. Forgiveness certainly does break chains and bonds formed long ago. Jesus forgave the guards that whipped, cursed, mocked and spat on Him. He said, "forgive them, for the know not what they are doing". I found myself saying that same thing when I went over all the people whom I needed to forgive during my quiet time. They really didn't know what they were doing or what the outcome would be from that situation. My best friend didn't know that saying he didn't want to be friends anymore would cause such a huge heart wound, he was 10 years old! If Jesus can forgive me for turning away from Him everyday, then I can forgive Juan.
Pabs
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I'm a Winner in Christ Not a Loser with Satan!
Alright!!! I am declaring that satan has absolutely no power over me whatsoever! He can try to destroy things in my life, but he will never destroy me because my foundation is in Jesus Christ who conquered death! I have victory and what satan intends for bad, God will use for good! So go ahead and try to plan while I sit with Jesus as we laugh at you while you're stupid plans go down the drain! WHoop!!!!
Yea!! Come on reader, if you don't know about Jesus, then know that He loves you and He has power! He came to earth to show us how to live in relationship with God not how to play church every sunday! He came and became the perfect sacrifice that was necessary to save us and three days later, He arose from the grave to show that He had power over death and whoever believed in Him would not perish, but have everlasting LIFE!!! No longer do you have to be a slave to the sin that is running your life! There's freedom in Jesus! Let Him break off the chains and free you! His love is powerful! There's none like Him!!
I Love You Jesus!!
Pabs
Yea!! Come on reader, if you don't know about Jesus, then know that He loves you and He has power! He came to earth to show us how to live in relationship with God not how to play church every sunday! He came and became the perfect sacrifice that was necessary to save us and three days later, He arose from the grave to show that He had power over death and whoever believed in Him would not perish, but have everlasting LIFE!!! No longer do you have to be a slave to the sin that is running your life! There's freedom in Jesus! Let Him break off the chains and free you! His love is powerful! There's none like Him!!
I Love You Jesus!!
Pabs
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Yo-Ho A Christian's Life For Me
Wow I'm super excited!
God has been so good to me that it makes me wonder why He would be? I'm so insignificant, yet He knows my potential! He knows the hairs on my head and I'm pretty sure He knows a whole lot more than that!
Monday was sure a funny day. We had a review in class and that resulted in me getting out a little later than usual...about half an hour later. Anyway so I'm walking from Bush School to my parking spot in Reed Arena and all of a sudden I get the sudden urge to run. Now, if you know me, then you will know that I absolutely do not like being hot nor do I like sweating at all. That being said, running in 105 heat index weather is not something that I do very often. However, this thought was extremely convincing and so I pulled my backpack straps all the way and began jogging. It was going good until a truck passed by and started spraying paint to re-paint the lines on the road. The fumes were getting to me bad and so instead of stopping like a normal person, I decided to run harder to stay ahead of the truck going about 5 miles an hour. I finally got to the parking lot and starting walking to my car drenched in sweat, but not frustrated by it surprisingly. Anyway, I got to my car and just as I was about to turn one direction, in the corner of my eye, I saw this guy sitting on the side of the road and so I quickly turned my wheel and asked him if he wanted a ride. He said he was waiting for the bus but he would like one. As soon as he opened the door, the bus pulled up and he was contemplating on whether or not to take the bus. Needless to say, he got in the car!
I drove him home which was across from the airport and just talked to him about school and found out his name is Waldo! Isn't that something? So we pulled up to his house and before he was able to get out, I asked to pray for him. He awkwardly told me that he just became an atheist about a month ago. Super encouraging!!! Spoke to him a lot about my testimony and we discussed several topics of his beliefs but not once did we argue or have any negativity; just a great discussion. We came to a stopping point and he was just so tripped by this divine appointment, that he just flat out told me he was tripping and that he was really going to think about this event! How awesome is that?! As I drove away, I was thinking how this entire afternoon was set up by God. If I hadn't stayed till 12 in class, I would've taken the bus and not have picked him up. If I had not ran to Reed Arena, I would not have picked him up. If I had been awkward about picking him up, I wouldn't have picked him up. So many signs that pointed to God and that this was His will. Not to mention that God was asking, "Where's Waldo?" and sitting here, I realized something...I found Waldo!!! Hahahaha
God has so much for me...I desire to seek out His kingdom and to be used by Him, the Creator of my soul! I love you Daddy!!! So until next time awesome readers, this is your average college student in love with Jesus signing out.
Pabs
God has been so good to me that it makes me wonder why He would be? I'm so insignificant, yet He knows my potential! He knows the hairs on my head and I'm pretty sure He knows a whole lot more than that!
Monday was sure a funny day. We had a review in class and that resulted in me getting out a little later than usual...about half an hour later. Anyway so I'm walking from Bush School to my parking spot in Reed Arena and all of a sudden I get the sudden urge to run. Now, if you know me, then you will know that I absolutely do not like being hot nor do I like sweating at all. That being said, running in 105 heat index weather is not something that I do very often. However, this thought was extremely convincing and so I pulled my backpack straps all the way and began jogging. It was going good until a truck passed by and started spraying paint to re-paint the lines on the road. The fumes were getting to me bad and so instead of stopping like a normal person, I decided to run harder to stay ahead of the truck going about 5 miles an hour. I finally got to the parking lot and starting walking to my car drenched in sweat, but not frustrated by it surprisingly. Anyway, I got to my car and just as I was about to turn one direction, in the corner of my eye, I saw this guy sitting on the side of the road and so I quickly turned my wheel and asked him if he wanted a ride. He said he was waiting for the bus but he would like one. As soon as he opened the door, the bus pulled up and he was contemplating on whether or not to take the bus. Needless to say, he got in the car!
I drove him home which was across from the airport and just talked to him about school and found out his name is Waldo! Isn't that something? So we pulled up to his house and before he was able to get out, I asked to pray for him. He awkwardly told me that he just became an atheist about a month ago. Super encouraging!!! Spoke to him a lot about my testimony and we discussed several topics of his beliefs but not once did we argue or have any negativity; just a great discussion. We came to a stopping point and he was just so tripped by this divine appointment, that he just flat out told me he was tripping and that he was really going to think about this event! How awesome is that?! As I drove away, I was thinking how this entire afternoon was set up by God. If I hadn't stayed till 12 in class, I would've taken the bus and not have picked him up. If I had not ran to Reed Arena, I would not have picked him up. If I had been awkward about picking him up, I wouldn't have picked him up. So many signs that pointed to God and that this was His will. Not to mention that God was asking, "Where's Waldo?" and sitting here, I realized something...I found Waldo!!! Hahahaha
God has so much for me...I desire to seek out His kingdom and to be used by Him, the Creator of my soul! I love you Daddy!!! So until next time awesome readers, this is your average college student in love with Jesus signing out.
Pabs
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Falling Into the Father's Arms...In a Jiffy!
Howdy!
So today has been a pretty chill day. Woke up at around 10, surfed the net for awhile, ran some errands and grabbed some lunch with Matt. OH and I went to go help Lance move his bed to his apartment! It was pretty funny because Matt and I saw his bed right in front of us the entire time we went to Lance's place. So we got to the apartment and helped him set up his bed and whatnot...it was a Tempur-Pedic Mattress!!!! Talk about comfort! That bed was so amazing that I just wanted to take a nap right then and there! Matt and I jumped right onto the bed and it felt pretty wonderful because it doesn't push you back up, it just receives your whole body weight and absorbs you into it.
I realized that this is how it feels like whenever I jump into the Father's arms! He just receives me whole-heartedly, not pushing me back, and just absorbs my soul. Whenever I jump into His arms, He makes me feel safe and secure knowing that He won't reject me. He provides the comfort that I have been longing for. He provides the pleasure I desire. He heals my broken and weary heart. He embraces me fully and I feel accepted. I truly never want to leave His presence!
So far, I'm feeling awesome ready to enjoy the rest of my day! My parents are coming up to bring some stuff and Stephanie's birthday party is tonight!! So until next time, this is your humble brother typing.
Pabs
So today has been a pretty chill day. Woke up at around 10, surfed the net for awhile, ran some errands and grabbed some lunch with Matt. OH and I went to go help Lance move his bed to his apartment! It was pretty funny because Matt and I saw his bed right in front of us the entire time we went to Lance's place. So we got to the apartment and helped him set up his bed and whatnot...it was a Tempur-Pedic Mattress!!!! Talk about comfort! That bed was so amazing that I just wanted to take a nap right then and there! Matt and I jumped right onto the bed and it felt pretty wonderful because it doesn't push you back up, it just receives your whole body weight and absorbs you into it.
I realized that this is how it feels like whenever I jump into the Father's arms! He just receives me whole-heartedly, not pushing me back, and just absorbs my soul. Whenever I jump into His arms, He makes me feel safe and secure knowing that He won't reject me. He provides the comfort that I have been longing for. He provides the pleasure I desire. He heals my broken and weary heart. He embraces me fully and I feel accepted. I truly never want to leave His presence!
So far, I'm feeling awesome ready to enjoy the rest of my day! My parents are coming up to bring some stuff and Stephanie's birthday party is tonight!! So until next time, this is your humble brother typing.
Pabs
Friday, August 6, 2010
You Doink!
So I started reading the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis and I'm so excited about it! This book is a compilation of letters from Screwtape (a senior demon) to his nephew Wormwood(a junior demon) and in these letters, Screwtape is observing Wormwood's work on his "patient" and gives him advise as to how to tempt him in the best way possible. It's pretty cool because it gives me a viewpoint of the tactician's prospective as to how to tempt me; discernment between spirits I'll say. I started last night and only read the first letter and some of the second, but got a great laugh when I shared a little thought with my roomie. In the second letter, Screwtape tells his nephew that because his "patient" has become a christian, he will not escape from the usual penalties. Isn't that hilarious? Demons get punished whenever someone comes to know Christ or when a christian resists temptation! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA I laugh at the stupid demons! Whenever I listen to the Holy Spirit and not to my flesh, a demon gets flogged!!! Hahahahahaha They flogged my Christ and now its their turn!! hahahahahaha It's also cool because my desire is to Love Christ more and hate sin more so it all meshes together! I Love my Beloved and at the same time, sin is being destroyed by the Light of His Truth!
One thing that always gets me thinking is community. I struggle so much with loving my community because of past experiences. However, it feels as though because satan sees that community is so beneficial, he tries everything he can to get me away from community from leaving completely to feeling bitterness towards people because of something they did hurt me. Obviously, if I keep looking at people, I will always be disappointed because people are imperfect. If I just look at the Perfect, Living God, then I will never be disappointed because of that perfection! Looking at the one who is perfect and feeling His love will destroy all evil thoughts and draw me to repentence. I love God! I want to bless those who hurt me and pray for them.
One thing that always gets me thinking is community. I struggle so much with loving my community because of past experiences. However, it feels as though because satan sees that community is so beneficial, he tries everything he can to get me away from community from leaving completely to feeling bitterness towards people because of something they did hurt me. Obviously, if I keep looking at people, I will always be disappointed because people are imperfect. If I just look at the Perfect, Living God, then I will never be disappointed because of that perfection! Looking at the one who is perfect and feeling His love will destroy all evil thoughts and draw me to repentence. I love God! I want to bless those who hurt me and pray for them.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
*Sigh* Amazing
I was looking for pictures that would just display God's wonders and this is by far the best one I have found...I absolutely love seeking God.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Under the Shadow of His Wing
I've been wanting to write a blog for awhile now...but I just can't seem to write anything...nothing seems to come to mind...and the things that do come to mind are all gathered into a web of thoughts. I just can't seem to access one thought without having the others fall and overwhelm me. I guess I'm feeling a little discouraged right now. It seems so weird too because just this past weekend, I felt so encouraged...now its just...bleh. It's been like that all last week too...just a huge roller coaster of these little clouds of thoughts going up and down in my life.
I have been asking the Lord about gifts and such...what He has for me...I guess that has been encouraging me the most: knowing that God will fulfill His promises; He is faithful till the end. One gift I really love is creativeness. I just love art, dance, singing, theater, skits, spoken words and everything that falls into that category. I was so deep into worshiping God whenever I was practicing for the spoken word this past Sunday. It felt so great and marvelous to just worship God in such a powerful way. Of course, what God has made to give Him praise, the enemy will always try to pervert it. Any time I stage some type of performance, I always get worked up and become such a perfectionist that I will pretty much give myself so much disgust if I can't do something right. I could just hear satan just whisper in my ear, "You're not good enough to worship Him. Give up! You can't even memorize it. You can't do anything. You don't matter! You're worthless!" Thankfully, I combated his lies with Truth! I can worship the Almighty God through Him who sanctifies me and makes me holy! I do matter to Him! I am worth something!
Right now, I guess I can say I'm in a place where I just don't know what I want; a place of confusion and frustration. I really don't like being in that place because it justs brings more discouragement.
ALSKDFIAWEGIUNGKJANGIAJGLIAMDSGANOIUKAIAGMAIURGHNAJKERFNIAYUEWNGLIJFGIAHJGNAKNVUBANGUAJNSDVFKANUINAKJGNALINFKANKJHANSLFNBAIUWJFLKABSDFJA;OSNFuijskgofansgjalsfbajsfjandsiNKJFNJKJNGALKDFNALGAIKGNAKJENGALKFLIAJWOEFNALKMVNKANJGOAEKFHALISDGJ
Well, I guess I do know what I want. I want the Almighty God to comfort me, to satisfy me, to hold me, to touch my heart, to touch my mind, to make me whole, to sanctify me, to give me pleasure, to romance me, to rescue me, to dazzle me, to astound me, to revive me, to heal me, to reestablish my mind, to strike me with awe, to amaze me, to tickle me, to wrestle me, to play with me, to dine with me, to sleep with me, to share with me, to put His arm around me, to show me His face, to shower me with His presence, to take this burden off me, to pick me up, to throw me across the universe, to help me fly, to overcome, to mourn with me, to cry with me, to be passionate with me, to tear down walls, to break chains, to walk with me, to dance with me, to study with me, to hang out with me, to chill with me, to be in class with me, to read with me, to sing with me, to draw with me, to paint with me, to act with me, to smile with me, to be happy with me, to laugh with me, to fill me with His Spirit, to dream with me, to live with me, to reminisce with me, to love me, to Love me, To Love Me, TO LOVE ME!!! I WANT THE GREAT I AM TO LOVE ME DEARLY, LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS!!! THE CREATOR OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, THE EARTH, THE PLANTS, THE ANIMALS, THE FUNGI, THE BACTERIA, THE VIRUSES, THE PROTISTS, THE AIR, THE STARS...WANTS TO KNOW THE NUMBER OF HAIRS ON MY HEAD?! THE BALLIN-EST INFINITE BEING WANTS TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH ME?!?!?! ITS SO RIDICULOUS!!! I CAN'T EVEN FATHOM HIS LOVE FOR ME!!!! NOT ITS HEIGHT, WIDTH, LENGTH OR DEPTH!!!! HE IS SO AMAZING THAT HE IS NOT AFFECTED BY TIME OR SPACE!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HE LAUGHS!!!!! HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES LAUGHING I CAN IMAGINE!!!! GOD TAKE ME TO YOUR DWELLING PLACE AND LET ME JUST DANCE IN YOUR PRESENCE!!!!! I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!
So I guess you can say that God met me just now. Hahaha Love it!! Well I'm gonna go delight in the Lord right now! No one can satisfy me like El Elyon Na Adonai and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Pabs
I have been asking the Lord about gifts and such...what He has for me...I guess that has been encouraging me the most: knowing that God will fulfill His promises; He is faithful till the end. One gift I really love is creativeness. I just love art, dance, singing, theater, skits, spoken words and everything that falls into that category. I was so deep into worshiping God whenever I was practicing for the spoken word this past Sunday. It felt so great and marvelous to just worship God in such a powerful way. Of course, what God has made to give Him praise, the enemy will always try to pervert it. Any time I stage some type of performance, I always get worked up and become such a perfectionist that I will pretty much give myself so much disgust if I can't do something right. I could just hear satan just whisper in my ear, "You're not good enough to worship Him. Give up! You can't even memorize it. You can't do anything. You don't matter! You're worthless!" Thankfully, I combated his lies with Truth! I can worship the Almighty God through Him who sanctifies me and makes me holy! I do matter to Him! I am worth something!
Right now, I guess I can say I'm in a place where I just don't know what I want; a place of confusion and frustration. I really don't like being in that place because it justs brings more discouragement.
ALSKDFIAWEGIUNGKJANGIAJGLIAMDSGANOIUKAIAGMAIURGHNAJKERFNIAYUEWNGLIJFGIAHJGNAKNVUBANGUAJNSDVFKANUINAKJGNALINFKANKJHANSLFNBAIUWJFLKABSDFJA;OSNFuijskgofansgjalsfbajsfjandsiNKJFNJKJNGALKDFNALGAIKGNAKJENGALKFLIAJWOEFNALKMVNKANJGOAEKFHALISDGJ
Well, I guess I do know what I want. I want the Almighty God to comfort me, to satisfy me, to hold me, to touch my heart, to touch my mind, to make me whole, to sanctify me, to give me pleasure, to romance me, to rescue me, to dazzle me, to astound me, to revive me, to heal me, to reestablish my mind, to strike me with awe, to amaze me, to tickle me, to wrestle me, to play with me, to dine with me, to sleep with me, to share with me, to put His arm around me, to show me His face, to shower me with His presence, to take this burden off me, to pick me up, to throw me across the universe, to help me fly, to overcome, to mourn with me, to cry with me, to be passionate with me, to tear down walls, to break chains, to walk with me, to dance with me, to study with me, to hang out with me, to chill with me, to be in class with me, to read with me, to sing with me, to draw with me, to paint with me, to act with me, to smile with me, to be happy with me, to laugh with me, to fill me with His Spirit, to dream with me, to live with me, to reminisce with me, to love me, to Love me, To Love Me, TO LOVE ME!!! I WANT THE GREAT I AM TO LOVE ME DEARLY, LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS!!! THE CREATOR OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, THE EARTH, THE PLANTS, THE ANIMALS, THE FUNGI, THE BACTERIA, THE VIRUSES, THE PROTISTS, THE AIR, THE STARS...WANTS TO KNOW THE NUMBER OF HAIRS ON MY HEAD?! THE BALLIN-EST INFINITE BEING WANTS TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH ME?!?!?! ITS SO RIDICULOUS!!! I CAN'T EVEN FATHOM HIS LOVE FOR ME!!!! NOT ITS HEIGHT, WIDTH, LENGTH OR DEPTH!!!! HE IS SO AMAZING THAT HE IS NOT AFFECTED BY TIME OR SPACE!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HE LAUGHS!!!!! HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES LAUGHING I CAN IMAGINE!!!! GOD TAKE ME TO YOUR DWELLING PLACE AND LET ME JUST DANCE IN YOUR PRESENCE!!!!! I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!
So I guess you can say that God met me just now. Hahaha Love it!! Well I'm gonna go delight in the Lord right now! No one can satisfy me like El Elyon Na Adonai and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Pabs
Friday, July 2, 2010
Petey Pabs Picked a Peck of Pickled Posts
Alright so this is my 31st blog and I wanted to do something special! It's actually not that special but whatevs. This blog has a small portion of each of my past blogs that I thought was very encouraging in my life at the moment. So pretty much, each "blog" is separated by a space and so forth. Enjoy my life this past semester, I know I did hahaha!
Sometimes, you just have to push through the rain of uncertainty so that you may find the calm in the storm.
I've found a wonderful and loving community that is all for God and I actually feel as if I'm a part of it. I've always felt apart of God's kingdom, but not like this. These "LifeGroupers" probably have no idea of what they have done in my life. Well, what God has done in my life through their determined way of life by just loving people.
We each have our individual strengths and weaknesses and God understands that. That is why He puts us in a place in which He knows we will be able to truly show our strengths while be helped by others for our weaknesses.
Imagine for a quick second living with the one person who loved you unconditionally throughout all areas of your life. Now imagine living with Him for all eternity! No longer will you feel loneliness, depression, emptiness, sorrow, pain, hunger, thirst, anger, guilt or anything that would debilitate us in any shape or form!
Although I've had my little hardships and disappointing times, I know God will prevail over my life and take over!
In moments of weakness, God can and will give you the strength you need. Satan, however, will stop at nothing to tell you that you're weak, nothing, insignificant, worthless and constantly remind you of your insecurity; all of which acts like a recorded tape of anguish. God, however, will use those weaknesses to bring forth power and eventually destroy that tape of anguish and install a recording of love!
Just give me insight of what you want me to do! I want to live by your terms, not mine! Give me the fruit of the Holy Spirit so that I may shine for you! You are a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path! I love you Dad! Thank you for your unfailing Love! Let your love just spread into my life and control every aspect of my being! You're soo great God! I can't sing enough of your praises, but I will sing them!
On the other hand, if you build your house away from sand and you first dig a very deep hole and fill it with cement, then the house would have a better chance to stand up against even the mightiest storms. Jesus is that slab of concrete! He provides us with a sturdy foundation that can never be torn down no matter what kind of pressures may come our way. The thing that we need to realize is...the slab will prevent your house from falling, but the storm is going to keep on coming. Jesus has promised us not that all pain would end, but that He will be there to comfort us whenever we need comforting.
We started talking about how God has seasons for us. A season for us to bear fruit and a season where we grow roots. It was really encouraging to hear that because it just confirmed me that God knows what is best for not only ourselves, but for His Kingdom!
I saw that people were lining up at the ticket booth so that they could exchange their money for the tickets and enjoy the amusement park. The thing is, the people weren't exchanging regular money for the tickets, they were exchanging diamonds, rubies, gold, and any other precious stone or metal that you could think of. I could also see that the workers had a dark sense to them. I check my pockets and reach in to grab hold of the same currency: precious stones and metals.
I believe that what it means is that, sin is like going to a carnival. You have real money, jewels, and you spend it to get fake money, tickets, and enjoy a day at the carnival which doesn't last forever; not to mention, you get sore, weary, bored, and you begin to just wander aimlessly around the park, seeing what else you can do that can bring some sort of entertainment. There are times when I feel like that: I'm wasting away going to the carnival when there's a kingdom with limitless joy and happiness just on the opposite side of the lot. I find myself spending precious amounts of time seeking sin instead of using that time to seek God or doing something that isn't of this world. I saw this verse that really caught my eye:
"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food." -Isaiah 55:2
God is the only one that can satisfy us fully. These "rides" can only bring temporary satisfaction, if you can even call it that. I'm tired of seeing the same things at that carnival. I'm bored of the same attractions that offer prizes but are rigged to where you can never win. I'm exhausted of wandering aimlessly on the grounds just wondering what I should do there. I'm ready to go home; I'm ready to give my tickets back to satan; I'm ready to declare victory; I'm ready to go to Christ's throne and enjoy His Love which is not only effortless to receive, but also way better than any prize I can win at some trashy carnival!
We are like the dirty old sock at the garage sale that is unwanted by anyone because not only is it nasty and dirty, but also because we are a single sock, incomplete and incapable of doing what we were made to do. Jesus, however, sees us at the garage sale and instantly wants us because He knows that He can wash us squeaky-clean and complete us so that we can carry out our purpose in life! Only in Him are we complete!
While working in a biology lab last semester, we grew bean plants in light and dark conditions. The "light" beans grew normally: huge, green leafs, standing up right and about normal height. On the other hand, the "dark" beans weren't so lucky. They were very malnourished, had extremely small, white leaves, falling over and surprisingly, very long. I wondered why it was longer and did some researching. Being deprived of the biggest source of energy, the plant elongates itself using the energy it has available to try and find that source of light. Never finding one, it keeps using up the energy it has to find it because now, its a matter of life and death. If there happens to be a small crack that allows some light in, the plant immediately races towards it to receive the light's energy. Once it reaches the light, it starts making its own food and all, but its still not enough sunshine to fully sustain the organism as a whole. Therefore, the plant will die if someone doesn't open up the cabinets and let that plant bathe in the sunlight.
We are those plants. We are born into a world full of darkness and like the plant, we can't survive unless we have Jesus Christ who gives us life; a purpose to live. Using the life we were given at birth, we set out to find that which will give even more life. As we search for it, we force ourselves to grow based on our own will and power which, obviously, isn't enough to sustain us. We look for any outlet that can substitute that life-giving power of Jesus whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex and money. Spiritually, we become malnourished, hungry, ugly and hopeless if we never find Jesus. Even if we find Jesus one time in our life, if we don't seek Him even more than to just let His light shine through a small crack in our life, then its not enough to sustain us fully and we still die. The only way to truly live is to fully go into His light and let His Love come into our lives and give us LIFE!
Jesus is there to open the cabinet doors and let us bask in His awesomeness. Without a doubt, plants will go toward the light...question is: are you going to live in the light, or die in the darkness?
We never know if we are going to be able to say goodbye to loved ones. We never know if there will be time to cool off after an argument with family or friends or when will be the next time you say "I love you". This terribly troubles me. The message of Christ really is a matter of life or death. It really is reaching out to pull your friend up from falling off a cliff. It really does matter what happens after this life. I really feel convicted to be even more obedient to God. If I really love God with all my heart, then it should show.
I just can't fathom how wonderful God is. So much encouragement tonight and even some stones I can just step over now. God is great. I just pray that His will happens on earth and not ours because His will is so much greater.
There aren't any words to describe the feeling you get when you see that God is using you; when you see that you do have a purpose in life. Tonight was no coincidence that I was able to treasure hunt! God has a plan for us, don't worry about the future because He is in control and so it would be pointless to worry about something that is not in our control. Live in the moment praising God and giving Him all the glory and honor!
Isn't this just amazing! God transforms us into a new creation! We no longer have to live the same way anymore; we no longer have to feel the same way anymore; we no longer have to be depressed, angry, bitter, lonely, afraid, abandoned, fake, hateful and anything else that destroys our souls! I am a new creation in Christ Jesus!
I really feel that as a follower of Jesus Christ, I have grown wings to embrace the world in a whole new way! I am no longer the same anymore! Although spending time deep in a cocoon and being healed has been painful, the end result is so much better! My worst day as a butterfly is so much better than the best day as a caterpillar!
I have no desire in what it brings me, I just want to do it, I even go to the extent of making up an excuse as to why I should sin. I then hide that sin under the floors or whatever whenever people come into my life to see if I'm okay and to see if everything is alright. Of course, my sinful nature will lie and say everything is alright, but then as time goes by and my conviction arises, I then confess everything. It always takes a group of friends to drive out my confession and ask for prayer. Funny, the one thing I hated the most growing up is the thing that is helping me the most. I simply cannot express my gratitude for my Father, especially since He has given me a community that cares deeply for me. I can already feel my hatred for friendships dying more and more each week. It is something to work on; it will bring forth pain, but that is simply where healing begins.
Save me Jesus! Only You can get me off this road and onto the Holy Road!
All I'm saying is that if I wait for God's response, then my life would be a whole lot smoother because He knows what is going down in the immediate future and even down the road of my life.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
My hope is Jesus Christ and I will be joyful in Him. Although I come across things that don't always make me feel great, I'll be patient to hear God's voice through prayer. Communication really is key ain't it?
Ask and you shall receive!
It's easy to have a little joy, heck anyone can express a joyful attitude, but to express it in such a way that everyone around you praises God? That seems pretty impossible. Its a good thing that I have the Almighty God, who Can do the impossible, help me make this possible.
There is something about it that I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when I start playing, I feel amazing; it’s almost as if my spirit is tuning into God at a pretty close frequency and it’s a feeling that’s really indescribable.
Could it be that entering His presence is a lot like entering an environment that is hazardous to our bodies? It’s like, since our flesh is sinful, it cannot stand to be in His presence without feeling all sorts of weird things such as tingling sensations. Almost like, the body reacts violently. Almost like, our spirit is trying to emerge. I truly cannot imagine what it will feel like when I am standing in His presence. Will it be a tingling sensation? Will it be a disorienting sensation? Will it be a fuzzy sensation? I have no idea what I will feel but I can say this: when it comes to that day, whatever I feel, it will totally be out of this world; a feeling that will completely obliterate any prior experience that I have ever encountered.
Frustration is something that I know way too much about...but what astounds me is how I've changed my way of venting out this frustration, anger and stress. I still remember how I would hit walls, doors, myself and even go for a drive to just scream. I always felt a little better afterward, but my problems still lingered and I just dealt with them after my little rampage. Now, I've started noticing that instead of going off like some deranged nut, I talk to God about what is bothering me and let him know how angry I am or how stressed out I am. Obviously this is a much more healthy way of "venting", not to mention a much more satisfying one. I am beginning to get sweet revelations of what is really going on and how God is fixing it. I get so peaceful and gentle when I give God all my burdens and problems...I guess I never really learned that when I give Him my burdens, I no longer have to worry about them.
Each day that goes by, I find that more and more things are happening to just exhaust me physically and mentally. The strange thing is, each day that passes by, I react a little more peaceful to the problem or burden. Now I understand just how much I actually need God. I love you God. Let me just soak up Your Goodness and Grace.
No matter how much it may hurt or how difficult it may seem, we can always overcome with major help from a Savior. It feels that we come to a point where it's so terrible, that we can't even think about anything else except how much we need Jesus. It's something that I've gone through several times...and something I've forgotten several times. I really get annoyed when I think highly of myself by believing that I can go through these obstacles on my own; I don't really need a Savior because I can handle it. The fact is, I can't. I cannot handle such a difficult situation! I need help because I am WEAK and Christ is STRONG!
This world has given us a box that can hold a measurable amount of joy, love and peace. I invite you to toss that box down the garbage shoot and embrace the heavenly box that God provides for us which can hold an IMMEASURABLE amount of JOY, LOVE, PEACE and SO MUCH MORE!! There is so much more in the Lord than in the world. We were made to enjoy God and Love Him!
What if every sin I had committed was transformed to an ounce of added baggage on my person? I came to the conclusion that I would probably be feeling the way I felt laying down on the aircraft with so much excess weight just overpowering my movements. My sin would just take me down hard and keep me incapacitated. I would feel my arms being forced down by something. I would truly feel the weight of my sins. However, as I felt this weight upon me, I somehow felt like my burden was lifted off me entirely to the point where even the weight of my flesh was overwhelmed by the power of the person who lifted this burden from me. This was truly amazing because I was able to physically feel what happened when Christ took all my burdens away.
The One who paid my debt; the One who gave me life; the One who showed me Love; the One who is for me seems to be the one who always stays at a close distant because I don't want Him to walk beside me. I absolutely love walking next to people because it feels as though they have accepted me and I actually belong. How much more does Christ love it when I don't push Him away to a close distance. How much more does Christ love it when I ask Him to walk beside me. How much more does Christ love it when I want the whole world to see us together!
This concludes my blog and so I hope you got something from it!
Pabs
Sometimes, you just have to push through the rain of uncertainty so that you may find the calm in the storm.
I've found a wonderful and loving community that is all for God and I actually feel as if I'm a part of it. I've always felt apart of God's kingdom, but not like this. These "LifeGroupers" probably have no idea of what they have done in my life. Well, what God has done in my life through their determined way of life by just loving people.
We each have our individual strengths and weaknesses and God understands that. That is why He puts us in a place in which He knows we will be able to truly show our strengths while be helped by others for our weaknesses.
Imagine for a quick second living with the one person who loved you unconditionally throughout all areas of your life. Now imagine living with Him for all eternity! No longer will you feel loneliness, depression, emptiness, sorrow, pain, hunger, thirst, anger, guilt or anything that would debilitate us in any shape or form!
Although I've had my little hardships and disappointing times, I know God will prevail over my life and take over!
In moments of weakness, God can and will give you the strength you need. Satan, however, will stop at nothing to tell you that you're weak, nothing, insignificant, worthless and constantly remind you of your insecurity; all of which acts like a recorded tape of anguish. God, however, will use those weaknesses to bring forth power and eventually destroy that tape of anguish and install a recording of love!
Just give me insight of what you want me to do! I want to live by your terms, not mine! Give me the fruit of the Holy Spirit so that I may shine for you! You are a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path! I love you Dad! Thank you for your unfailing Love! Let your love just spread into my life and control every aspect of my being! You're soo great God! I can't sing enough of your praises, but I will sing them!
On the other hand, if you build your house away from sand and you first dig a very deep hole and fill it with cement, then the house would have a better chance to stand up against even the mightiest storms. Jesus is that slab of concrete! He provides us with a sturdy foundation that can never be torn down no matter what kind of pressures may come our way. The thing that we need to realize is...the slab will prevent your house from falling, but the storm is going to keep on coming. Jesus has promised us not that all pain would end, but that He will be there to comfort us whenever we need comforting.
We started talking about how God has seasons for us. A season for us to bear fruit and a season where we grow roots. It was really encouraging to hear that because it just confirmed me that God knows what is best for not only ourselves, but for His Kingdom!
I saw that people were lining up at the ticket booth so that they could exchange their money for the tickets and enjoy the amusement park. The thing is, the people weren't exchanging regular money for the tickets, they were exchanging diamonds, rubies, gold, and any other precious stone or metal that you could think of. I could also see that the workers had a dark sense to them. I check my pockets and reach in to grab hold of the same currency: precious stones and metals.
I believe that what it means is that, sin is like going to a carnival. You have real money, jewels, and you spend it to get fake money, tickets, and enjoy a day at the carnival which doesn't last forever; not to mention, you get sore, weary, bored, and you begin to just wander aimlessly around the park, seeing what else you can do that can bring some sort of entertainment. There are times when I feel like that: I'm wasting away going to the carnival when there's a kingdom with limitless joy and happiness just on the opposite side of the lot. I find myself spending precious amounts of time seeking sin instead of using that time to seek God or doing something that isn't of this world. I saw this verse that really caught my eye:
"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food." -Isaiah 55:2
God is the only one that can satisfy us fully. These "rides" can only bring temporary satisfaction, if you can even call it that. I'm tired of seeing the same things at that carnival. I'm bored of the same attractions that offer prizes but are rigged to where you can never win. I'm exhausted of wandering aimlessly on the grounds just wondering what I should do there. I'm ready to go home; I'm ready to give my tickets back to satan; I'm ready to declare victory; I'm ready to go to Christ's throne and enjoy His Love which is not only effortless to receive, but also way better than any prize I can win at some trashy carnival!
We are like the dirty old sock at the garage sale that is unwanted by anyone because not only is it nasty and dirty, but also because we are a single sock, incomplete and incapable of doing what we were made to do. Jesus, however, sees us at the garage sale and instantly wants us because He knows that He can wash us squeaky-clean and complete us so that we can carry out our purpose in life! Only in Him are we complete!
While working in a biology lab last semester, we grew bean plants in light and dark conditions. The "light" beans grew normally: huge, green leafs, standing up right and about normal height. On the other hand, the "dark" beans weren't so lucky. They were very malnourished, had extremely small, white leaves, falling over and surprisingly, very long. I wondered why it was longer and did some researching. Being deprived of the biggest source of energy, the plant elongates itself using the energy it has available to try and find that source of light. Never finding one, it keeps using up the energy it has to find it because now, its a matter of life and death. If there happens to be a small crack that allows some light in, the plant immediately races towards it to receive the light's energy. Once it reaches the light, it starts making its own food and all, but its still not enough sunshine to fully sustain the organism as a whole. Therefore, the plant will die if someone doesn't open up the cabinets and let that plant bathe in the sunlight.
We are those plants. We are born into a world full of darkness and like the plant, we can't survive unless we have Jesus Christ who gives us life; a purpose to live. Using the life we were given at birth, we set out to find that which will give even more life. As we search for it, we force ourselves to grow based on our own will and power which, obviously, isn't enough to sustain us. We look for any outlet that can substitute that life-giving power of Jesus whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex and money. Spiritually, we become malnourished, hungry, ugly and hopeless if we never find Jesus. Even if we find Jesus one time in our life, if we don't seek Him even more than to just let His light shine through a small crack in our life, then its not enough to sustain us fully and we still die. The only way to truly live is to fully go into His light and let His Love come into our lives and give us LIFE!
Jesus is there to open the cabinet doors and let us bask in His awesomeness. Without a doubt, plants will go toward the light...question is: are you going to live in the light, or die in the darkness?
We never know if we are going to be able to say goodbye to loved ones. We never know if there will be time to cool off after an argument with family or friends or when will be the next time you say "I love you". This terribly troubles me. The message of Christ really is a matter of life or death. It really is reaching out to pull your friend up from falling off a cliff. It really does matter what happens after this life. I really feel convicted to be even more obedient to God. If I really love God with all my heart, then it should show.
I just can't fathom how wonderful God is. So much encouragement tonight and even some stones I can just step over now. God is great. I just pray that His will happens on earth and not ours because His will is so much greater.
There aren't any words to describe the feeling you get when you see that God is using you; when you see that you do have a purpose in life. Tonight was no coincidence that I was able to treasure hunt! God has a plan for us, don't worry about the future because He is in control and so it would be pointless to worry about something that is not in our control. Live in the moment praising God and giving Him all the glory and honor!
Isn't this just amazing! God transforms us into a new creation! We no longer have to live the same way anymore; we no longer have to feel the same way anymore; we no longer have to be depressed, angry, bitter, lonely, afraid, abandoned, fake, hateful and anything else that destroys our souls! I am a new creation in Christ Jesus!
I really feel that as a follower of Jesus Christ, I have grown wings to embrace the world in a whole new way! I am no longer the same anymore! Although spending time deep in a cocoon and being healed has been painful, the end result is so much better! My worst day as a butterfly is so much better than the best day as a caterpillar!
I have no desire in what it brings me, I just want to do it, I even go to the extent of making up an excuse as to why I should sin. I then hide that sin under the floors or whatever whenever people come into my life to see if I'm okay and to see if everything is alright. Of course, my sinful nature will lie and say everything is alright, but then as time goes by and my conviction arises, I then confess everything. It always takes a group of friends to drive out my confession and ask for prayer. Funny, the one thing I hated the most growing up is the thing that is helping me the most. I simply cannot express my gratitude for my Father, especially since He has given me a community that cares deeply for me. I can already feel my hatred for friendships dying more and more each week. It is something to work on; it will bring forth pain, but that is simply where healing begins.
Save me Jesus! Only You can get me off this road and onto the Holy Road!
All I'm saying is that if I wait for God's response, then my life would be a whole lot smoother because He knows what is going down in the immediate future and even down the road of my life.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
My hope is Jesus Christ and I will be joyful in Him. Although I come across things that don't always make me feel great, I'll be patient to hear God's voice through prayer. Communication really is key ain't it?
Ask and you shall receive!
It's easy to have a little joy, heck anyone can express a joyful attitude, but to express it in such a way that everyone around you praises God? That seems pretty impossible. Its a good thing that I have the Almighty God, who Can do the impossible, help me make this possible.
There is something about it that I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when I start playing, I feel amazing; it’s almost as if my spirit is tuning into God at a pretty close frequency and it’s a feeling that’s really indescribable.
Could it be that entering His presence is a lot like entering an environment that is hazardous to our bodies? It’s like, since our flesh is sinful, it cannot stand to be in His presence without feeling all sorts of weird things such as tingling sensations. Almost like, the body reacts violently. Almost like, our spirit is trying to emerge. I truly cannot imagine what it will feel like when I am standing in His presence. Will it be a tingling sensation? Will it be a disorienting sensation? Will it be a fuzzy sensation? I have no idea what I will feel but I can say this: when it comes to that day, whatever I feel, it will totally be out of this world; a feeling that will completely obliterate any prior experience that I have ever encountered.
Frustration is something that I know way too much about...but what astounds me is how I've changed my way of venting out this frustration, anger and stress. I still remember how I would hit walls, doors, myself and even go for a drive to just scream. I always felt a little better afterward, but my problems still lingered and I just dealt with them after my little rampage. Now, I've started noticing that instead of going off like some deranged nut, I talk to God about what is bothering me and let him know how angry I am or how stressed out I am. Obviously this is a much more healthy way of "venting", not to mention a much more satisfying one. I am beginning to get sweet revelations of what is really going on and how God is fixing it. I get so peaceful and gentle when I give God all my burdens and problems...I guess I never really learned that when I give Him my burdens, I no longer have to worry about them.
Each day that goes by, I find that more and more things are happening to just exhaust me physically and mentally. The strange thing is, each day that passes by, I react a little more peaceful to the problem or burden. Now I understand just how much I actually need God. I love you God. Let me just soak up Your Goodness and Grace.
No matter how much it may hurt or how difficult it may seem, we can always overcome with major help from a Savior. It feels that we come to a point where it's so terrible, that we can't even think about anything else except how much we need Jesus. It's something that I've gone through several times...and something I've forgotten several times. I really get annoyed when I think highly of myself by believing that I can go through these obstacles on my own; I don't really need a Savior because I can handle it. The fact is, I can't. I cannot handle such a difficult situation! I need help because I am WEAK and Christ is STRONG!
This world has given us a box that can hold a measurable amount of joy, love and peace. I invite you to toss that box down the garbage shoot and embrace the heavenly box that God provides for us which can hold an IMMEASURABLE amount of JOY, LOVE, PEACE and SO MUCH MORE!! There is so much more in the Lord than in the world. We were made to enjoy God and Love Him!
What if every sin I had committed was transformed to an ounce of added baggage on my person? I came to the conclusion that I would probably be feeling the way I felt laying down on the aircraft with so much excess weight just overpowering my movements. My sin would just take me down hard and keep me incapacitated. I would feel my arms being forced down by something. I would truly feel the weight of my sins. However, as I felt this weight upon me, I somehow felt like my burden was lifted off me entirely to the point where even the weight of my flesh was overwhelmed by the power of the person who lifted this burden from me. This was truly amazing because I was able to physically feel what happened when Christ took all my burdens away.
The One who paid my debt; the One who gave me life; the One who showed me Love; the One who is for me seems to be the one who always stays at a close distant because I don't want Him to walk beside me. I absolutely love walking next to people because it feels as though they have accepted me and I actually belong. How much more does Christ love it when I don't push Him away to a close distance. How much more does Christ love it when I ask Him to walk beside me. How much more does Christ love it when I want the whole world to see us together!
This concludes my blog and so I hope you got something from it!
Pabs
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Best of Friends
I woke up this morning and a specific scene from a specific movie came to mind. I got on the computer, flipped to Youtube and saw a piece of my childhood unravel before my eyes. Here are the lyrics and if you can guess the name of the movie, then kudos to you!
When you're the best of friends
Having so much fun together
You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair
You're the best of friends
Life's a happy game
You could clown around forever
Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries
Life's one happy game
If only the world wouldn't get in the way
If only people would just let you play
They say you're both being fools
You're breaking all the rules
They can't understand, the magic of your wonderland
Hu-hu-hu
When you're the best of friends
Sharing all that you discover
When that moment has past, will that friendship last?
Who can say? There's a way!
Oh I hope... I hope it never ends
'Cause you're the best of friends
It's funny because it made me think about the book I just finished reading (Mere Christianity Great Book). Lewis describes a situation in which at times we don't really feel like being a certain way, say happy. At that moment, we realize that if we can put on an attitude that suggests that we were happy to begin with, we start to actually feel happy. We put on a mask to hide ourselves, pretending that we are someone else and with time, that mask starts to mesh with our actual face until all anyone one can see is that mask. That really blew me away. I can act a certain way, but that mask will hide my flesh and show Christ to the world. Of course I can't do it myself, I need Christ to give me that mask, to give me the Fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control.
How did this song make me think about this mask? Well for starters, the song made me think of best friends as the title suggests. When you see best friends, don't you see two people who talk alike, dress alike, do everything together and can never go anywhere without the other? I have seen a handful of people whom I just described and it saddens me that I don't project this relationship with Jesus everyday. The One who paid my debt; the One who gave me life; the One who showed me Love; the One who is for me seems to be the one who always stays at a close distant because I don't want Him to walk beside me. I absolutely love walking next to people because it feels as though they have accepted me and I actually belong. How much more does Christ love it when I don't push Him away to a close distance. How much more does Christ love it when I ask Him to walk beside me. How much more does Christ love it when I want the whole world to see us together! Now, going back to the lyrics, I read it and started thinking about segregation. I'm pretty sure there were more than plenty of children who made friends across their "natural boundaries" a.k.a. color of their skin. However, they didn't care! They loved one another because whenever they were around each other, they had the most fun ever! They are "not even aware, [they're] such a funny pair". I sometimes think that Jesus and I are a funny pair. The God of the universe, the One who made the heavens and the earth, the one who was, is and is to come, the alpha and omega, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords...wants to be my friend? How silly is that! Someone perfect wants to be friends with me! Because I have seen friendships in which the pair are nearly one, I can't even imagine why Jesus would want to be my friend because we're nothing alike. However, as much as we are different, He wants to make me the same as Him. He wants to spend much time with me so that I can be like Him. Our natural boundaries are quite clear: Perfect and imperfect. Christ doesn't see my imperfection though, He sees Himself in me. Christ puts His mask on my face and allows time for it to sink into my skin. So I say to the world that you can't get in our way! We are breaking your so called "rules"! "You don't understand, the magic of [our] wonderland"!
I invite you to break away from the world and get to know the Awesome Power that is Christ. Whether you like it or not, whether you notice or not, He is following you wherever you go wanting to be your best friend and walk along side you. Do you wonder whether or not His friendship will last? Don't worry, it will last for eternity "'cause you're the best of friends".
Pabs
When you're the best of friends
Having so much fun together
You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair
You're the best of friends
Life's a happy game
You could clown around forever
Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries
Life's one happy game
If only the world wouldn't get in the way
If only people would just let you play
They say you're both being fools
You're breaking all the rules
They can't understand, the magic of your wonderland
Hu-hu-hu
When you're the best of friends
Sharing all that you discover
When that moment has past, will that friendship last?
Who can say? There's a way!
Oh I hope... I hope it never ends
'Cause you're the best of friends
It's funny because it made me think about the book I just finished reading (Mere Christianity Great Book). Lewis describes a situation in which at times we don't really feel like being a certain way, say happy. At that moment, we realize that if we can put on an attitude that suggests that we were happy to begin with, we start to actually feel happy. We put on a mask to hide ourselves, pretending that we are someone else and with time, that mask starts to mesh with our actual face until all anyone one can see is that mask. That really blew me away. I can act a certain way, but that mask will hide my flesh and show Christ to the world. Of course I can't do it myself, I need Christ to give me that mask, to give me the Fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control.
How did this song make me think about this mask? Well for starters, the song made me think of best friends as the title suggests. When you see best friends, don't you see two people who talk alike, dress alike, do everything together and can never go anywhere without the other? I have seen a handful of people whom I just described and it saddens me that I don't project this relationship with Jesus everyday. The One who paid my debt; the One who gave me life; the One who showed me Love; the One who is for me seems to be the one who always stays at a close distant because I don't want Him to walk beside me. I absolutely love walking next to people because it feels as though they have accepted me and I actually belong. How much more does Christ love it when I don't push Him away to a close distance. How much more does Christ love it when I ask Him to walk beside me. How much more does Christ love it when I want the whole world to see us together! Now, going back to the lyrics, I read it and started thinking about segregation. I'm pretty sure there were more than plenty of children who made friends across their "natural boundaries" a.k.a. color of their skin. However, they didn't care! They loved one another because whenever they were around each other, they had the most fun ever! They are "not even aware, [they're] such a funny pair". I sometimes think that Jesus and I are a funny pair. The God of the universe, the One who made the heavens and the earth, the one who was, is and is to come, the alpha and omega, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords...wants to be my friend? How silly is that! Someone perfect wants to be friends with me! Because I have seen friendships in which the pair are nearly one, I can't even imagine why Jesus would want to be my friend because we're nothing alike. However, as much as we are different, He wants to make me the same as Him. He wants to spend much time with me so that I can be like Him. Our natural boundaries are quite clear: Perfect and imperfect. Christ doesn't see my imperfection though, He sees Himself in me. Christ puts His mask on my face and allows time for it to sink into my skin. So I say to the world that you can't get in our way! We are breaking your so called "rules"! "You don't understand, the magic of [our] wonderland"!
I invite you to break away from the world and get to know the Awesome Power that is Christ. Whether you like it or not, whether you notice or not, He is following you wherever you go wanting to be your best friend and walk along side you. Do you wonder whether or not His friendship will last? Don't worry, it will last for eternity "'cause you're the best of friends".
Pabs
Friday, June 25, 2010
Let Your Name be Lifted Higher
Let's imagine for a moment that you're walking down the street, or wherever you may be walking, and all of a sudden, an elephant falls from the sky and onto your head. The elephant gets up after awhile and walks away with you stuck to his butt. It's a weird image, but that is probably the only I can describe what I felt today when I flew in the "Weightless Wonder": extreme pressure all over my body, then I was shot into the air with no pressure at all.
On board the aircraft, I was able to experience what it felt like to be weightless as well as extremely weighed down by two times my weight. This opportunity was so worth all the frustration and stress I went through. So the plane takes off and travels to a restricted air space owned by NASA I think and once it arrives there, everyone gets to their spots and waits for the parabolas to begin. For the first few parabolas, the crew wants you to adapt to the environment so you can ease into to it instead of going head on. Once I got to my station and made sure everything was ready, I laid down in front of the glove box and held on to the steel frame of the table it was sitting on just waiting for the amazing experience to begin. At first I felt the elephant just squeezing the life out of me and as soon as I felt him, I felt extremely light. Almost instantly, I saw my feet just rise before my very eyes and soon after, my whole body went with it! I tried to hang on the to table, but I just couldn't stay down! I floated to the top and my body felt as though the ceiling was the floor and vice versa! Throughout the entire flight, I was just in extreme awe that I was floating, I barely got any research done! Besides the experiment, I twisted, turned, rolled, flipped and twirled around in the air with ease! It is something that I can not and will not forget about in the near future.
Of course, this also counts as some great revelation as well. While on the ride home, I was thinking to myself, what if sin could be measured in units of weight? What if every sin I had committed was transformed to an ounce of added baggage on my person? I came to the conclusion that I would probably be feeling the way I felt laying down on the aircraft with so much excess weight just overpowering my movements. My sin would just take me down hard and keep me incapacitated. I would feel my arms being forced down by something. I would truly feel the weight of my sins. However, as I felt this weight upon me, I somehow felt like my burden was lifted off me entirely to the point where even the weight of my flesh was overwhelmed by the power of the person who lifted this burden from me. This was truly amazing because I was able to physically feel what happened when Christ took all my burdens away. As the transition from 2G to 0G was instant, so was the transition from my old life to my new one. Now, I just can't even begin to imagine something. If I could barely carry this weight, how can Jesus stand to carry my sins upon the cross, not to mention the sins of the WHOLE WORLD! It's just not possible...unless you can do the impossible. How great is my God that He is quick to love me and take away all my burdens. He carries my burden to the point where I feel like I'm just floating away and that nothing can possibly bring me down when I'm with the Father.
I felt really dizzy from the transitions from 0G to 2G. It got so bad after a while that I had to sit out and hurl chunks into my plastic bag. In the same way, when I am just floating up above and for some reason, allow sin to enter my life, I feel immediately thrown down to the floor. I can't move at all because sin is just paralyzing my movements. It always feels worse when you fall straight down to the ground carrying a huge weight. I'm so grateful that I never have to feel like sin is paralyzing me. I am free from sin! I am no longer bound in chains to sin! I am free to float up above with Jesus! I am free to stand in His presence and let Him take me away! I Love it!!
We have a lot of photos and loads of videos so once we put those together, I will be more than happy to show you my experience!
On board the aircraft, I was able to experience what it felt like to be weightless as well as extremely weighed down by two times my weight. This opportunity was so worth all the frustration and stress I went through. So the plane takes off and travels to a restricted air space owned by NASA I think and once it arrives there, everyone gets to their spots and waits for the parabolas to begin. For the first few parabolas, the crew wants you to adapt to the environment so you can ease into to it instead of going head on. Once I got to my station and made sure everything was ready, I laid down in front of the glove box and held on to the steel frame of the table it was sitting on just waiting for the amazing experience to begin. At first I felt the elephant just squeezing the life out of me and as soon as I felt him, I felt extremely light. Almost instantly, I saw my feet just rise before my very eyes and soon after, my whole body went with it! I tried to hang on the to table, but I just couldn't stay down! I floated to the top and my body felt as though the ceiling was the floor and vice versa! Throughout the entire flight, I was just in extreme awe that I was floating, I barely got any research done! Besides the experiment, I twisted, turned, rolled, flipped and twirled around in the air with ease! It is something that I can not and will not forget about in the near future.
Of course, this also counts as some great revelation as well. While on the ride home, I was thinking to myself, what if sin could be measured in units of weight? What if every sin I had committed was transformed to an ounce of added baggage on my person? I came to the conclusion that I would probably be feeling the way I felt laying down on the aircraft with so much excess weight just overpowering my movements. My sin would just take me down hard and keep me incapacitated. I would feel my arms being forced down by something. I would truly feel the weight of my sins. However, as I felt this weight upon me, I somehow felt like my burden was lifted off me entirely to the point where even the weight of my flesh was overwhelmed by the power of the person who lifted this burden from me. This was truly amazing because I was able to physically feel what happened when Christ took all my burdens away. As the transition from 2G to 0G was instant, so was the transition from my old life to my new one. Now, I just can't even begin to imagine something. If I could barely carry this weight, how can Jesus stand to carry my sins upon the cross, not to mention the sins of the WHOLE WORLD! It's just not possible...unless you can do the impossible. How great is my God that He is quick to love me and take away all my burdens. He carries my burden to the point where I feel like I'm just floating away and that nothing can possibly bring me down when I'm with the Father.
I felt really dizzy from the transitions from 0G to 2G. It got so bad after a while that I had to sit out and hurl chunks into my plastic bag. In the same way, when I am just floating up above and for some reason, allow sin to enter my life, I feel immediately thrown down to the floor. I can't move at all because sin is just paralyzing my movements. It always feels worse when you fall straight down to the ground carrying a huge weight. I'm so grateful that I never have to feel like sin is paralyzing me. I am free from sin! I am no longer bound in chains to sin! I am free to float up above with Jesus! I am free to stand in His presence and let Him take me away! I Love it!!
We have a lot of photos and loads of videos so once we put those together, I will be more than happy to show you my experience!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Fine Line
God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...God Loves Me...
God loves me so much, He would break my fingers just to set my hands free from the pot that is burning my hands. He loves me so much, He would destroy every single wall surrounding me; every single defense I have set up just so He can hold me and Be my Defense. He loves me so much that He would burn me up so I can shine brightly like the precious metal He believes me to be. He loves me so much that He would do anything just to be with me. He loves me so much that He would come down and live a life hated by all just to show me the way. He loves me so much that He personally took all the blame for My sins and paid the price. He loves me so much...
What else can I say other than:
My Soul Sings! My Soul Sings! My Soul Sings! My Soul Sings how I love You! Just a little while longer and I'll see you. Just a little while longer and I'll know you. Just a little while longer and We'll be together. All I want is just to know your heart and would you keep me here until we're one! I'm never going back...only going forward.
It feels so good getting Love Encounters at 3 in the morning! I Love you God!
If you're still reading, I just want to encourage you with this. This world has given us a box that can hold a measurable amount of joy, love and peace. I invite you to toss that box down the garbage shoot and embrace the heavenly box that God provides for us which can hold an IMMEASURABLE amount of JOY, LOVE, PEACE and SO MUCH MORE!! There is so much more in the Lord than in the world. We were made to enjoy God and Love Him!
And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
-Ephesians 3:18-21
Well I have to get up in about an hour so, later!
Pabs
So I end up not sleeping, but instead I just browse through blogs, emails and some of my pictures until about 5:30.
I asked God for just 30 minutes of soaking in His Presence. For what seemed like the longest time, I just couldn't seem to sit still. I was tossing and turning on my bed just trying to relax but I couldn't. Then, finally, I was able to catch my breath and get an extremely vivid vision. I was driving home and I think someone was with me. For some reason, I stop about two houses before my house and walk the rest of the way. It looked like it was around dusk and as I get to the porch, some random child screams out "That house is on fire!" I quickly glanced in his direction but he was gone and I'm left seeing my old room's window shine brightly with shades of orange. I ran into the house and into that room filled with fire. Bright orange and yellow flames that consumed everything. Then I see a man walk through them towards me. I step back out of shock and fear, but an arm wraps around me and pulls me towards the man. I didn't take two steps before I woke up.
Oh Jesus, I just want to soak up every ounce of You!
Peace (for reals this time),
Pabs
God loves me so much, He would break my fingers just to set my hands free from the pot that is burning my hands. He loves me so much, He would destroy every single wall surrounding me; every single defense I have set up just so He can hold me and Be my Defense. He loves me so much that He would burn me up so I can shine brightly like the precious metal He believes me to be. He loves me so much that He would do anything just to be with me. He loves me so much that He would come down and live a life hated by all just to show me the way. He loves me so much that He personally took all the blame for My sins and paid the price. He loves me so much...
What else can I say other than:
My Soul Sings! My Soul Sings! My Soul Sings! My Soul Sings how I love You! Just a little while longer and I'll see you. Just a little while longer and I'll know you. Just a little while longer and We'll be together. All I want is just to know your heart and would you keep me here until we're one! I'm never going back...only going forward.
It feels so good getting Love Encounters at 3 in the morning! I Love you God!
If you're still reading, I just want to encourage you with this. This world has given us a box that can hold a measurable amount of joy, love and peace. I invite you to toss that box down the garbage shoot and embrace the heavenly box that God provides for us which can hold an IMMEASURABLE amount of JOY, LOVE, PEACE and SO MUCH MORE!! There is so much more in the Lord than in the world. We were made to enjoy God and Love Him!
And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
-Ephesians 3:18-21
Well I have to get up in about an hour so, later!
Pabs
So I end up not sleeping, but instead I just browse through blogs, emails and some of my pictures until about 5:30.
I asked God for just 30 minutes of soaking in His Presence. For what seemed like the longest time, I just couldn't seem to sit still. I was tossing and turning on my bed just trying to relax but I couldn't. Then, finally, I was able to catch my breath and get an extremely vivid vision. I was driving home and I think someone was with me. For some reason, I stop about two houses before my house and walk the rest of the way. It looked like it was around dusk and as I get to the porch, some random child screams out "That house is on fire!" I quickly glanced in his direction but he was gone and I'm left seeing my old room's window shine brightly with shades of orange. I ran into the house and into that room filled with fire. Bright orange and yellow flames that consumed everything. Then I see a man walk through them towards me. I step back out of shock and fear, but an arm wraps around me and pulls me towards the man. I didn't take two steps before I woke up.
Oh Jesus, I just want to soak up every ounce of You!
Peace (for reals this time),
Pabs
Monday, June 21, 2010
Drenched in Sweat
Okay, no need to panic...I'm going to do a great job here! Left, Right, Left, Right...Okay I'm in step...Sigh...I can't believe that it has been 6 months since we began this difficult trek. I still remember the first day when I made so many mistakes that I thought I was going to get kicked out. Left, Right, Left, Right...Who would have thought that we would have made it this far? Who could believe that we were capable of achieving this level of honorable mention? Thinking back a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to put together a string of thoughts that would connect to this place...Okay keep your eyes forward, stay focused...to think, a kid like me would ever accomplish this feat. Okay stop...the announcer is introducing our team...are we ready? Yes we are! Let's get on this field and do our stuff! Left, Right, Left, Right...I mustn't forget what we rehearsed; what we've been working on for the past 6 months; what we have only dreamed of doing...Okay time to get into position...Sigh...Okay, calm down...here they come...you can do this! You've practiced so long...you know this stuff like the back of your hand!
"North Shore Senior High School, are you ready?"/"Okay San Jacinto College, are you ready?"
That's the signal! This is it! 1..3...dut dut dut dut!/Alright, no biggie...Let's do this!
I don't know what I'm doing here...but I thought it was a little creative! I was thinking about how to write down my feelings for today's adventure at NASA, and the best thing that came to mind was the first time my high school marching band went to Area Competition (kind of a big deal...). It has been such a long journey of researching, brainstorming and practicing our parts for this day. As I mentioned in my last post, today was the day in which we had to present our experiment to a committee of 20 engineers, biologists, astronauts and crew members and convince them that we know what we are doing, what we are working with and how we are going to go about safety protocols. The only time I've felt this nervous was when I was first marching down the field to our first position to start our performance...not to mention my first solo while marching ever! I think it's so cool how circumstances come into our lives to challenge our limits. No matter how much it may hurt or how difficult it may seem, we can always overcome with major help from a Savior. It feels that we come to a point where it's so terrible, that we can't even think about anything else except how much we need Jesus. It's something that I've gone through several times...and something I've forgotten several times. I really get annoyed when I think highly of myself by believing that I can go through these obstacles on my own; I don't really need a Savior because I can handle it. The fact is, I can't. I cannot handle such a difficult situation! I need help because I am WEAK and Christ is STRONG!
So today, we presented our experiment and despite the horror stories that our mentor told us, it was not bad at all. The only questions they had was whether or not we were using real blood. Of course we weren't, only plasma and they were fine with it. Although I was annoyed that our mentor and "team leader" exaggerated everything way out of proportion, I was glad to have prepared more than I needed rather than less. Go Team SOAR!!! Now that the review is over, we can concentrate more on the actual experimental procedure and hopefully get some sweet data from this flight (not to mention the experience of being weightless)! Well, I'm off to get some shut eye. I'm so exhausted, I could eat a whole cow.
Pabs
Oh I found our Team's website that needs to be updated! If you want to take a look feel free to check it out and laugh at my picture!
http://www2.sanjac.edu/teamsoar/
"North Shore Senior High School, are you ready?"/"Okay San Jacinto College, are you ready?"
That's the signal! This is it! 1..3...dut dut dut dut!/Alright, no biggie...Let's do this!
I don't know what I'm doing here...but I thought it was a little creative! I was thinking about how to write down my feelings for today's adventure at NASA, and the best thing that came to mind was the first time my high school marching band went to Area Competition (kind of a big deal...). It has been such a long journey of researching, brainstorming and practicing our parts for this day. As I mentioned in my last post, today was the day in which we had to present our experiment to a committee of 20 engineers, biologists, astronauts and crew members and convince them that we know what we are doing, what we are working with and how we are going to go about safety protocols. The only time I've felt this nervous was when I was first marching down the field to our first position to start our performance...not to mention my first solo while marching ever! I think it's so cool how circumstances come into our lives to challenge our limits. No matter how much it may hurt or how difficult it may seem, we can always overcome with major help from a Savior. It feels that we come to a point where it's so terrible, that we can't even think about anything else except how much we need Jesus. It's something that I've gone through several times...and something I've forgotten several times. I really get annoyed when I think highly of myself by believing that I can go through these obstacles on my own; I don't really need a Savior because I can handle it. The fact is, I can't. I cannot handle such a difficult situation! I need help because I am WEAK and Christ is STRONG!
So today, we presented our experiment and despite the horror stories that our mentor told us, it was not bad at all. The only questions they had was whether or not we were using real blood. Of course we weren't, only plasma and they were fine with it. Although I was annoyed that our mentor and "team leader" exaggerated everything way out of proportion, I was glad to have prepared more than I needed rather than less. Go Team SOAR!!! Now that the review is over, we can concentrate more on the actual experimental procedure and hopefully get some sweet data from this flight (not to mention the experience of being weightless)! Well, I'm off to get some shut eye. I'm so exhausted, I could eat a whole cow.
Pabs
Oh I found our Team's website that needs to be updated! If you want to take a look feel free to check it out and laugh at my picture!
http://www2.sanjac.edu/teamsoar/
Friday, June 18, 2010
Unexpected Life
Wowsers!
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do better things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I asked for,
but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself,
my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men,
most richly blessed.
–Anonymous Confederate Soldier
Today was such an extremely loooong and exhausting day! We pretty much finished setting up our project and we are working on our experimental presentation for Monday. This pretty much decides the outcome of our flight whether it be a yes or a no. Things are getting pretty hectic. I'm barely able to walk out of there from all the things that are going on. It's hilarious actually, a couple of months ago, if you asked me if I wanted to do the project, I would have replied no. Everything seemed to have fallen apart, things were getting so intense that I just wanted to pull out so I wouldn't have to deal with this stuff. Now, I'm so glad that I didn't quit because God is doing so much work in me. As the above poem says, "I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak so that I would humbly obey". Each day that goes by, I find that more and more things are happening to just exhaust me physically and mentally. The strange thing is, each day that passes by, I react a little more peaceful to the problem or burden. Now I understand just how much I actually need God. I love you God. Let me just soak up Your Goodness and Grace.
Here are a few videos I took containing some projects.
Pabs
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do better things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I asked for,
but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself,
my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men,
most richly blessed.
–Anonymous Confederate Soldier
Today was such an extremely loooong and exhausting day! We pretty much finished setting up our project and we are working on our experimental presentation for Monday. This pretty much decides the outcome of our flight whether it be a yes or a no. Things are getting pretty hectic. I'm barely able to walk out of there from all the things that are going on. It's hilarious actually, a couple of months ago, if you asked me if I wanted to do the project, I would have replied no. Everything seemed to have fallen apart, things were getting so intense that I just wanted to pull out so I wouldn't have to deal with this stuff. Now, I'm so glad that I didn't quit because God is doing so much work in me. As the above poem says, "I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak so that I would humbly obey". Each day that goes by, I find that more and more things are happening to just exhaust me physically and mentally. The strange thing is, each day that passes by, I react a little more peaceful to the problem or burden. Now I understand just how much I actually need God. I love you God. Let me just soak up Your Goodness and Grace.
Here are a few videos I took containing some projects.
Pabs
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Morning Dew
There is so much frustration and stress going on in my life right now. I woke up this morning and just felt frustrated about things I've been thinking about since the summer began. It came to the point where I started to complain to God about these things and why people did this and why they did that...just a releasing of emotions. Frustration is something that I know way too much about...but what astounds me is how I've changed my way of venting out this frustration, anger and stress. I still remember how I would hit walls, doors, myself and even go for a drive to just scream. I always felt a little better afterward, but my problems still lingered and I just dealt with them after my little rampage. Now, I've started noticing that instead of going off like some deranged nut, I talk to God about what is bothering me and let him know how angry I am or how stressed out I am. Obviously this is a much more healthy way of "venting", not to mention a much more satisfying one. I am beginning to get sweet revelations of what is really going on and how God is fixing it. I get so peaceful and gentle when I give God all my burdens and problems...I guess I never really learned that when I give Him my burdens, I no longer have to worry about them.
So pretty much, I've been dealing with lots of problems, specifically ones that pertain to this NASA project. However, I will not gripe because God's grace is sufficient for me. I will delight in my weaknesses because when I am weak, then I am strong! Besides, as I've said before, how can I truly experience The Comforter when I'm comfortable?
Tomorrow is a big day for me! I'm gonna go to NASA and convince these people not to pull the plug on us. Wait, who am I kidding? God's going to convince them!
Night,
Pabs
So pretty much, I've been dealing with lots of problems, specifically ones that pertain to this NASA project. However, I will not gripe because God's grace is sufficient for me. I will delight in my weaknesses because when I am weak, then I am strong! Besides, as I've said before, how can I truly experience The Comforter when I'm comfortable?
Tomorrow is a big day for me! I'm gonna go to NASA and convince these people not to pull the plug on us. Wait, who am I kidding? God's going to convince them!
Night,
Pabs
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
India Gulf Niner Niner
Howdy!
Whoa, it has been awhile since I last posted something! To start off, I have really found just joy in the Lord through playing some instrument. There is something about it that I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when I start playing, I feel amazing; it’s almost as if my spirit is tuning into God at a pretty close frequency and it’s a feeling that’s really indescribable. As always, satan tries his hardest to take me away from this connection, that loser. Several days after I started feeling this sensation, I start getting discouraging thoughts in my head that told me that I wasn’t good enough to worship God, I sucked, I wasn’t going to be able to play well at all, etc. It actually started to get to me but thankfully, I made the connection to that loser and dismissed it entirely.
Today was my first day of training for my NASA project! I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep at all the last night. It’s like when I started high school as a little fish, I didn’t know what to expect despite all the stories I’ve heard from pretty much everyone, but I felt that anxiety, excitement and fear all rush in my system like a waterfall of emotions. To make things even better, we were told that we had to arrive 10 minutes before the actual class started, which was at 7:30am, because the instructors were ex-military and extremely strict. This of course did not help with the anxiety, for if we had gotten there late, we would be turned down and disqualified! I woke up early and called my fellow crew member and ask him if he was going to pick me up and he replied, “I’m on my way”. So there I am at the meeting place at 6 waiting for him to arrive and as time went by, there was no sign of him and butterflies were practically gushing out of my mouth. 6:15…6:20…6:25…the wait was nearly unbearable and I just started to worry my butt off texting him and another crew member! After 6:35, I just simply told God that He is in control and that all things will work out. Not only was I filled with such peace, but this guy was just around the corner so he picked me up and off we went to NASA’s Neutral Buoyancy Center. The awesome thing about this is that, when we arrived, not only did we make it on time, but the instructors were LATE!! Hallelujah! Praise God!! At this center, we were required to complete a physiological training in order to actually fly as an aviator. From about 8 till 11:30, we listened to lectures about the safety of flying and the dangers that can occur from being in a higher altitude. I know what you’re thinking: BORING! Actually, the instructors were pretty laid back and very funny so it wasn’t too bad. After lunch, we finished up the last portion of safety and did a briefing of what we were to expect. Basically, we were to enter a pressurized cabin with oxygen masks and gradually “climb” to an altitude of 25,000 ft. Our objectives were to experience what it felt like to be at 25,000 feet above sea level and notice any symptoms that we may feel at the time all while answering a simple questionnaire. So there I sat, completely excited and anxious, and ready to face anything that was going to happen! I had my mask on, my Oxygen tank was plugged in and all my equipment was ready as I was. After about 30 minutes of breathing in 100% oxygen and listening to a safety lecture, we were ready to begin our ascension. And as quickly as we could show them our Gig ‘em sign, we were off!
Almost immediately, my ears began to “pop” and so I performed the valsalva (where you pinch your nose, close your mouth and blow through your nose to release the air in your ear canal) and I began to feel a little light-headed but not too much. As we kept climbing, the gas in the chamber began to expand and you could see a light fog throughout the entire chamber. Before we reached the 25,000 mark, I did feel something weird in my ear. For some odd reason, I felt bubbles move around my ear and all of a sudden, the bubbles were released from my ear making a flatulent-type noise. It was weird, but there wasn’t any pain so I dismissed it as insignificant for perhaps the air was simply escaping. Better out than in! After we reached our mark, we were to take off our oxygen masks and for about 5 minutes, breathe the thin air as we waited for any symptoms to occur. Luckily, my group was second so we were able to watch the first group take off their masks first so that we may observe any signs that may occur. One of my crewmembers looked like he was about to just flop over and pass out after 2 minutes! After several kicks and giggles, it was my turn to see what everything was about.
I took off my mask and everything seemed fine so I signed my name at the top of the questionnaire. After working on it for awhile, I started to feel kind of dizzy and disoriented so I jotted that down. After about 2 minutes, I felt my eyes grow very heavy, tired and noticed that things were starting to look fuzzy. After about 3 minutes, I began to feel tingling all over my body and some hot flashes. Although I felt as though I could keep going, I decided to stop there and get my mask back on. Once everyone had their masks on, we descended and discussed what we felt and whatnot. Afterwards, we had to take a small test to show that we were paying attention to the instructors and we were allowed to leave.
The entire time going home, the only thing I could think about is how the tingling really felt familiar. It felt similar to when I am in the presence of God and can feel the Holy Spirit flow through me. Could it be that entering His presence is a lot like entering an environment that is hazardous to our bodies? It’s like, since our flesh is sinful, it cannot stand to be in His presence without feeling all sorts of weird things such as tingling sensations. Almost like, the body reacts violently. Almost like, our spirit is trying to emerge. I truly cannot imagine what it will feel like when I am standing in His presence. Will it be a tingling sensation? Will it be a disorienting sensation? Will it be a fuzzy sensation? I have no idea what I will feel but I can say this: when it comes to that day, whatever I feel, it will totally be out of this world; a feeling that will completely obliterate any prior experience that I have ever encountered.
Well that was pretty much my day in a nutshell and with that I am signing off!
Pabs
Whoa, it has been awhile since I last posted something! To start off, I have really found just joy in the Lord through playing some instrument. There is something about it that I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when I start playing, I feel amazing; it’s almost as if my spirit is tuning into God at a pretty close frequency and it’s a feeling that’s really indescribable. As always, satan tries his hardest to take me away from this connection, that loser. Several days after I started feeling this sensation, I start getting discouraging thoughts in my head that told me that I wasn’t good enough to worship God, I sucked, I wasn’t going to be able to play well at all, etc. It actually started to get to me but thankfully, I made the connection to that loser and dismissed it entirely.
Today was my first day of training for my NASA project! I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep at all the last night. It’s like when I started high school as a little fish, I didn’t know what to expect despite all the stories I’ve heard from pretty much everyone, but I felt that anxiety, excitement and fear all rush in my system like a waterfall of emotions. To make things even better, we were told that we had to arrive 10 minutes before the actual class started, which was at 7:30am, because the instructors were ex-military and extremely strict. This of course did not help with the anxiety, for if we had gotten there late, we would be turned down and disqualified! I woke up early and called my fellow crew member and ask him if he was going to pick me up and he replied, “I’m on my way”. So there I am at the meeting place at 6 waiting for him to arrive and as time went by, there was no sign of him and butterflies were practically gushing out of my mouth. 6:15…6:20…6:25…the wait was nearly unbearable and I just started to worry my butt off texting him and another crew member! After 6:35, I just simply told God that He is in control and that all things will work out. Not only was I filled with such peace, but this guy was just around the corner so he picked me up and off we went to NASA’s Neutral Buoyancy Center. The awesome thing about this is that, when we arrived, not only did we make it on time, but the instructors were LATE!! Hallelujah! Praise God!! At this center, we were required to complete a physiological training in order to actually fly as an aviator. From about 8 till 11:30, we listened to lectures about the safety of flying and the dangers that can occur from being in a higher altitude. I know what you’re thinking: BORING! Actually, the instructors were pretty laid back and very funny so it wasn’t too bad. After lunch, we finished up the last portion of safety and did a briefing of what we were to expect. Basically, we were to enter a pressurized cabin with oxygen masks and gradually “climb” to an altitude of 25,000 ft. Our objectives were to experience what it felt like to be at 25,000 feet above sea level and notice any symptoms that we may feel at the time all while answering a simple questionnaire. So there I sat, completely excited and anxious, and ready to face anything that was going to happen! I had my mask on, my Oxygen tank was plugged in and all my equipment was ready as I was. After about 30 minutes of breathing in 100% oxygen and listening to a safety lecture, we were ready to begin our ascension. And as quickly as we could show them our Gig ‘em sign, we were off!
Almost immediately, my ears began to “pop” and so I performed the valsalva (where you pinch your nose, close your mouth and blow through your nose to release the air in your ear canal) and I began to feel a little light-headed but not too much. As we kept climbing, the gas in the chamber began to expand and you could see a light fog throughout the entire chamber. Before we reached the 25,000 mark, I did feel something weird in my ear. For some odd reason, I felt bubbles move around my ear and all of a sudden, the bubbles were released from my ear making a flatulent-type noise. It was weird, but there wasn’t any pain so I dismissed it as insignificant for perhaps the air was simply escaping. Better out than in! After we reached our mark, we were to take off our oxygen masks and for about 5 minutes, breathe the thin air as we waited for any symptoms to occur. Luckily, my group was second so we were able to watch the first group take off their masks first so that we may observe any signs that may occur. One of my crewmembers looked like he was about to just flop over and pass out after 2 minutes! After several kicks and giggles, it was my turn to see what everything was about.
I took off my mask and everything seemed fine so I signed my name at the top of the questionnaire. After working on it for awhile, I started to feel kind of dizzy and disoriented so I jotted that down. After about 2 minutes, I felt my eyes grow very heavy, tired and noticed that things were starting to look fuzzy. After about 3 minutes, I began to feel tingling all over my body and some hot flashes. Although I felt as though I could keep going, I decided to stop there and get my mask back on. Once everyone had their masks on, we descended and discussed what we felt and whatnot. Afterwards, we had to take a small test to show that we were paying attention to the instructors and we were allowed to leave.
The entire time going home, the only thing I could think about is how the tingling really felt familiar. It felt similar to when I am in the presence of God and can feel the Holy Spirit flow through me. Could it be that entering His presence is a lot like entering an environment that is hazardous to our bodies? It’s like, since our flesh is sinful, it cannot stand to be in His presence without feeling all sorts of weird things such as tingling sensations. Almost like, the body reacts violently. Almost like, our spirit is trying to emerge. I truly cannot imagine what it will feel like when I am standing in His presence. Will it be a tingling sensation? Will it be a disorienting sensation? Will it be a fuzzy sensation? I have no idea what I will feel but I can say this: when it comes to that day, whatever I feel, it will totally be out of this world; a feeling that will completely obliterate any prior experience that I have ever encountered.
Well that was pretty much my day in a nutshell and with that I am signing off!
Pabs
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Pachi-kow!
I got blasted today by God. I just finished reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan and here is a quote that has been on my mind all day.
"...ask yourself if you possess each (trait of the Holy Spirit) to a supernatural degree...that's when the world notices. That's when people say, 'Your Lord-He is God'"
This whole book has been challenging me to not only live more in the Spirit, but also to exhibit His traits, as Chan describes it, supernaturally. It's easy to have a little joy, heck anyone can express a joyful attitude, but to express it in such a way that everyone around you praises God? That seems pretty impossible. Its a good thing that I have the Almighty God, who Can do the impossible, help me make this possible. Of course, if I just sit on my butt everyday with my eyes glued to the computer screen, then I'm just not going to be able to live life with the Holy Spirit. I need to be active and not passive. That is why I'm so thankful that not only did I get my old job back, but I'm occupying my self with practicing my trumpet and the piano during my extra time. Hopefully I'll be good enough to lead worship one day!
-Pabs
"...ask yourself if you possess each (trait of the Holy Spirit) to a supernatural degree...that's when the world notices. That's when people say, 'Your Lord-He is God'"
This whole book has been challenging me to not only live more in the Spirit, but also to exhibit His traits, as Chan describes it, supernaturally. It's easy to have a little joy, heck anyone can express a joyful attitude, but to express it in such a way that everyone around you praises God? That seems pretty impossible. Its a good thing that I have the Almighty God, who Can do the impossible, help me make this possible. Of course, if I just sit on my butt everyday with my eyes glued to the computer screen, then I'm just not going to be able to live life with the Holy Spirit. I need to be active and not passive. That is why I'm so thankful that not only did I get my old job back, but I'm occupying my self with practicing my trumpet and the piano during my extra time. Hopefully I'll be good enough to lead worship one day!
-Pabs
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Epic Win
So I get three dreams last night after writing a blog about it and after reading this little teaching of dream interpretations. However, the only thing I remember from them is the number 5, two different people and the feeling of being closed in/locked in an enclosed space. Ask and you shall receive!
My Brain is my Memory Foam
So lately I've been getting a lot of dreams. Most of which deal with me facing some type of serpent. At times it'll be a snake and other times it'll be a dragon or some mythical creature. I don't know but normally, a serpent represents satan nearly always. I really feel that God is trying to speak to me through dreams about my life concerning my past sins or sins that I might have done. Anyways, each dream I've had about a serpent usually had me either taming the creature or staring at it with fear. I think I've had at least four dreams about it since last week. Sadly, I only wrote down three of them and can barely remember the fourth. I could write them down, but there is too much to write. Nevertheless, I will most definitely ask the Lord to reveal more of my heart in my dreams.
Other than that, God's been teaching me more about patience and how I should wait on Him to make the best decision for my life. Strangely, I got this while reading about the different ways someone could be unclean from Leviticus. Usually, the person who came into contact with the unclean thing, whether it be a carcass, skin disease or mildew, will come to the high priest and get examined. Then a big cycle of deciding whether or not they're clean goes on and a decision is made depending on what goes on. While reading this, I begin to think, "Why not just toss out the unclean thing in the first place? Why do they have to go through meaningless examining? Just get it over with and move on". Then it hit me...when you have no clue whether or not something is good, having patience will most definitely confirm it. I mean, if I come across some situation where I can't know for sure that something will be good for my life without patience, then I could be tossing out something that could be "clean". Instead of waiting for God to reveal to me that "This is good" or "This is bad", my rash decisions could cost me big time. All I'm saying is that if I wait for God's response, then my life would be a whole lot smoother because He knows what is going down in the immediate future and even down the road of my life.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
My hope is Jesus Christ and I will be joyful in Him. Although I come across things that don't always make me feel great, I'll be patient to hear God's voice through prayer. Communication really is key ain't it? Haha
It is getting late and I should get to bed. I've been convicted about sleeping earlier lately. Here's some humor before I make like a tree and leaf...hahaha
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water. I thought he meant well.
How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
Other than that, God's been teaching me more about patience and how I should wait on Him to make the best decision for my life. Strangely, I got this while reading about the different ways someone could be unclean from Leviticus. Usually, the person who came into contact with the unclean thing, whether it be a carcass, skin disease or mildew, will come to the high priest and get examined. Then a big cycle of deciding whether or not they're clean goes on and a decision is made depending on what goes on. While reading this, I begin to think, "Why not just toss out the unclean thing in the first place? Why do they have to go through meaningless examining? Just get it over with and move on". Then it hit me...when you have no clue whether or not something is good, having patience will most definitely confirm it. I mean, if I come across some situation where I can't know for sure that something will be good for my life without patience, then I could be tossing out something that could be "clean". Instead of waiting for God to reveal to me that "This is good" or "This is bad", my rash decisions could cost me big time. All I'm saying is that if I wait for God's response, then my life would be a whole lot smoother because He knows what is going down in the immediate future and even down the road of my life.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
My hope is Jesus Christ and I will be joyful in Him. Although I come across things that don't always make me feel great, I'll be patient to hear God's voice through prayer. Communication really is key ain't it? Haha
It is getting late and I should get to bed. I've been convicted about sleeping earlier lately. Here's some humor before I make like a tree and leaf...hahaha
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water. I thought he meant well.
How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Darkness Falls
"TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How then am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell you the whole story."
"I was singularly at ease. They sat and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears; but still they sat, and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct : I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definitiveness -- until, at length, I found that the noise was NOT within my ears.No doubt I now grew VERY pale; but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased -- and what could I do? It was A LOW, DULL, QUICK SOUND -- MUCH SUCH A SOUND AS A WATCH MAKES WHEN ENVELOPED IN COTTON."
-Edgar Allen Poe
For some odd reason I've decided to step into the past and draw out one of my favorite short stories from high school. I became really interested in prose and poetry because not only did they challenge me to understand what the author was saying, but they began to tell me who I was and what I was going through. I admit it, I was a very dark person before; I am aware of how dark I'm being right now, but I guess I have to be in the mood to describe myself at this time.
I feel that what Poe was thinking when he wrote this story is: we do things, think things and even believe certain things when we are alone. The narrator in the story was a servant to his master and had no motive for killing him, yet he did anyway. Why on earth would he kill him? Simply because he was alone. Day in and day out, I'm assuming, the servant was waiting on a blind, old man who could no longer take care of himself. He really had a lot of time to kill simply because all he did was do his servant duties and wait until his master called. During the time he had all to himself, I'm pretty sure he was extremely bored out of his mind and because of that boredom, he kills his master. He can't even come up with a good reason other than his eye which "resembled that of a vulture--a pale blue eye with a film over it". The guy even creepily starred at the old man every night at midnight for a couple of hours just to make sure it was the perfect time to kill him. So low and behold, he kills the guy, letting out a single cry, and buries him underneath the floor boards. So the guy is finally at ease; he is finally at rest until the officers pull in to have a chat. Surprisingly, the neighbors hear the scream and call the cops to go check it out. The murderer at this point is calm and not worrying because he hid the corpse well. He even invites the officers for a cup of Joe to relax. Everything is fine and dandy until the murderer hears the beating heart of the old man. It drives him insane I tell you. Almost instantly, he goes crazy and confesses to the officers, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- it is the beating of his hideous heart!". With this confession he will obviously go to jail and perhaps, if the time period is right, be hung.
Now why on earth am I trying to understand what was going through Poe's mind when he wrote this? I have no clue at the moment. In actuality, I felt so dark waking up at 5:30 this morning, that wanted to read Dickinson (FYI she is extremely creepy). However, in writing this, I was able to figure out that this can relate to the Christian life, or at least mine anyway. Whenever alone, I tend to dive into a struggle mode with sin. I have no desire in what it brings me, I just want to do it, I even go to the extent of making up an excuse as to why I should sin. I then hide that sin under the floors or whatever whenever people come into my life to see if I'm okay and to see if everything is alright. Of course, my sinful nature will lie and say everything is alright, but then as time goes by and my conviction arises, I then confess everything. It always takes a group of friends to drive out my confession and ask for prayer. Funny, the one thing I hated the most growing up is the thing that is helping me the most. I simply cannot express my gratitude for my Father, especially since He has given me a community that cares deeply for me. I can already feel my hatred for friendships dying more and more each week. It is something to work on; it will bring forth pain, but that is simply where healing begins.
Isn't it amazing how God can turn the utmost darkest intent into something that would give Him honor and glory? I love blogging/journaling.
"I was singularly at ease. They sat and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears; but still they sat, and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct : I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definitiveness -- until, at length, I found that the noise was NOT within my ears.No doubt I now grew VERY pale; but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased -- and what could I do? It was A LOW, DULL, QUICK SOUND -- MUCH SUCH A SOUND AS A WATCH MAKES WHEN ENVELOPED IN COTTON."
-Edgar Allen Poe
For some odd reason I've decided to step into the past and draw out one of my favorite short stories from high school. I became really interested in prose and poetry because not only did they challenge me to understand what the author was saying, but they began to tell me who I was and what I was going through. I admit it, I was a very dark person before; I am aware of how dark I'm being right now, but I guess I have to be in the mood to describe myself at this time.
I feel that what Poe was thinking when he wrote this story is: we do things, think things and even believe certain things when we are alone. The narrator in the story was a servant to his master and had no motive for killing him, yet he did anyway. Why on earth would he kill him? Simply because he was alone. Day in and day out, I'm assuming, the servant was waiting on a blind, old man who could no longer take care of himself. He really had a lot of time to kill simply because all he did was do his servant duties and wait until his master called. During the time he had all to himself, I'm pretty sure he was extremely bored out of his mind and because of that boredom, he kills his master. He can't even come up with a good reason other than his eye which "resembled that of a vulture--a pale blue eye with a film over it". The guy even creepily starred at the old man every night at midnight for a couple of hours just to make sure it was the perfect time to kill him. So low and behold, he kills the guy, letting out a single cry, and buries him underneath the floor boards. So the guy is finally at ease; he is finally at rest until the officers pull in to have a chat. Surprisingly, the neighbors hear the scream and call the cops to go check it out. The murderer at this point is calm and not worrying because he hid the corpse well. He even invites the officers for a cup of Joe to relax. Everything is fine and dandy until the murderer hears the beating heart of the old man. It drives him insane I tell you. Almost instantly, he goes crazy and confesses to the officers, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- it is the beating of his hideous heart!". With this confession he will obviously go to jail and perhaps, if the time period is right, be hung.
Now why on earth am I trying to understand what was going through Poe's mind when he wrote this? I have no clue at the moment. In actuality, I felt so dark waking up at 5:30 this morning, that wanted to read Dickinson (FYI she is extremely creepy). However, in writing this, I was able to figure out that this can relate to the Christian life, or at least mine anyway. Whenever alone, I tend to dive into a struggle mode with sin. I have no desire in what it brings me, I just want to do it, I even go to the extent of making up an excuse as to why I should sin. I then hide that sin under the floors or whatever whenever people come into my life to see if I'm okay and to see if everything is alright. Of course, my sinful nature will lie and say everything is alright, but then as time goes by and my conviction arises, I then confess everything. It always takes a group of friends to drive out my confession and ask for prayer. Funny, the one thing I hated the most growing up is the thing that is helping me the most. I simply cannot express my gratitude for my Father, especially since He has given me a community that cares deeply for me. I can already feel my hatred for friendships dying more and more each week. It is something to work on; it will bring forth pain, but that is simply where healing begins.
Isn't it amazing how God can turn the utmost darkest intent into something that would give Him honor and glory? I love blogging/journaling.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Me 109 Cito
Howdy!
It has been awhile since I last posted something that has happened in my life. Anyways...A man and his son are in a car crash. The father is killed and the child is taken to hospital gravely injured. When he gets there, the surgeon says, 'I can't operate on this boy - for he is my son!!!' How can this possibly be?
I'm super upset that this past LG meeting was the last one of the semester! Although I can still see the ones that are here during the summer LG, I will miss those who leave home dearly. It has been a rough week for me, but definitely a lot of growth! Being released from some chains has put me in an extremely vulnerable state that allowed many of Satan's lies and condemnations to enter my life. I was starting to become bitter and out of nowhere, began to feel hatred towards some people. It was terrifying because these people are considered my really close friends, those that stick closer than a brother even, and I was having those awful feelings towards them. NOT COOL!! I totally bought into Satan's lies and began to let my imagination carry me and if you know me, then that is not good at all. Thankfully, during LG, I was blasted away by the Holy Spirit and God revealed to me that because my chains were being broken, because the scars on my heart were being healed, satan was not happy at all! Therefore, he has been trying to trick me into going back to who I was before this semester: bitter, angry, fake, depressed and a sense of hatred for everyone. This semester has been about healing my heart and the scars that were left by different events of my life; obviously, satan is going to try his hardest to ruin my life in every way possible simply because he hates me and wants to see me fall away from God and what God has for me. Silly satan, tricks aren't for me! I was reading Ephesians 4:21-24 and it was exactly what I needed to hear!
"Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
Isn't this just amazing! God transforms us into a new creation! We no longer have to live the same way anymore; we no longer have to feel the same way anymore; we no longer have to be depressed, angry, bitter, lonely, afraid, abandoned, fake, hateful and anything else that destroys our souls! I am a new creation in Christ Jesus! I have two analogies that fit this perfectly.
One is from this book I just finished by McManus and he states that we are all like caterpillars crawling around the world, knowing that there is a much better way to live. We, as people, are just crawling around the earth, doing our business and whatnot, yet we feel in our souls that there just has to be a better way to live. Once we find the Truth, which is Christ, we go through a metamorphosis in a cocoon; we are being prepared to take experience the world in a whole new way. Once we come to know Christ, we are being healed and made into a new form that in no way resembles the life we had before Christ. I mean, have you ever seen a caterpillar and a butterfly?! They are totally not the same at all!!!!!!! A caterpillar has a billion legs and is round, fat, slow and just looks pathetic; whereas, a butterfly has six legs, a smaller body, antennae and, as you may have guessed it, WINGS!!!! I mean, how do you go from wingless to having wings?!!? I really feel that as a follower of Jesus Christ, I have grown wings to embrace the world in a whole new way! I am no longer the same anymore! Although spending time deep in a cocoon and being healed has been painful, the end result is so much better! My worst day as a butterfly is so much better than the best day as a caterpillar!
The other analogy I came up with is life as a hermit crab. When a hermit crab gets to a certain size, then its natural instinct will be to find a new shell in which it can fit inside. Being a hermit crab, I was living miserably inside of that shell that could just not contain who I was. I was in need of something better, a new way to live. Thankfully, Jesus provided me a new shell in which I can live and grow in! He has provided exactly what my soul desires! Trying to go back to acting my old self is the same as rejecting the new shell in which I was given for the shell that could no longer hold me. My soul simply knew that something wasn't right. Why in the world would I ever go back to the shelled life that just didn't fit with my soul? I need to stay with what God provides me, for it will always be good!
Okay the butterfly analogy was so much better than my hermit crab one, but nevertheless, did the point get across?! Through Christ, WE ARE NEW CREATIONS!!! No longer do we have to be the same! God pulled us out of the chaos and closer to Him! WOW!! Isn't that just amazing?!?! God loves us so much that He would personally come down and just pull us out of the dark abyss in which we were born into and save us!! I'm so blown away by His Love, Grace, Mercy and Patience!! No one has ever cared about me more than Him and no one ever will! God is all I need because He will provide the rest! I just have to trust in Him!
So yea, my whole life in a shell right here! *laughter* As I get closer to the summer, I feel like my soul is dropping more and more broken chains that were once clinging on! I'm pretty sure that God will reveal even more to me and that He will continue to show me how much I need Him!
I want to learn more about You, God for I know absolutely nothing! Teach me, show me, astound me, shock me, dazzle me and amaze me of who You are! I love you Dad!
God Bless,
Pabs
P.S. The answer to the riddle if you haven't already figured it out:
The surgeon was the boy's mother! I know, it completely tripped me out to!
It has been awhile since I last posted something that has happened in my life. Anyways...A man and his son are in a car crash. The father is killed and the child is taken to hospital gravely injured. When he gets there, the surgeon says, 'I can't operate on this boy - for he is my son!!!' How can this possibly be?
I'm super upset that this past LG meeting was the last one of the semester! Although I can still see the ones that are here during the summer LG, I will miss those who leave home dearly. It has been a rough week for me, but definitely a lot of growth! Being released from some chains has put me in an extremely vulnerable state that allowed many of Satan's lies and condemnations to enter my life. I was starting to become bitter and out of nowhere, began to feel hatred towards some people. It was terrifying because these people are considered my really close friends, those that stick closer than a brother even, and I was having those awful feelings towards them. NOT COOL!! I totally bought into Satan's lies and began to let my imagination carry me and if you know me, then that is not good at all. Thankfully, during LG, I was blasted away by the Holy Spirit and God revealed to me that because my chains were being broken, because the scars on my heart were being healed, satan was not happy at all! Therefore, he has been trying to trick me into going back to who I was before this semester: bitter, angry, fake, depressed and a sense of hatred for everyone. This semester has been about healing my heart and the scars that were left by different events of my life; obviously, satan is going to try his hardest to ruin my life in every way possible simply because he hates me and wants to see me fall away from God and what God has for me. Silly satan, tricks aren't for me! I was reading Ephesians 4:21-24 and it was exactly what I needed to hear!
"Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
Isn't this just amazing! God transforms us into a new creation! We no longer have to live the same way anymore; we no longer have to feel the same way anymore; we no longer have to be depressed, angry, bitter, lonely, afraid, abandoned, fake, hateful and anything else that destroys our souls! I am a new creation in Christ Jesus! I have two analogies that fit this perfectly.
One is from this book I just finished by McManus and he states that we are all like caterpillars crawling around the world, knowing that there is a much better way to live. We, as people, are just crawling around the earth, doing our business and whatnot, yet we feel in our souls that there just has to be a better way to live. Once we find the Truth, which is Christ, we go through a metamorphosis in a cocoon; we are being prepared to take experience the world in a whole new way. Once we come to know Christ, we are being healed and made into a new form that in no way resembles the life we had before Christ. I mean, have you ever seen a caterpillar and a butterfly?! They are totally not the same at all!!!!!!! A caterpillar has a billion legs and is round, fat, slow and just looks pathetic; whereas, a butterfly has six legs, a smaller body, antennae and, as you may have guessed it, WINGS!!!! I mean, how do you go from wingless to having wings?!!? I really feel that as a follower of Jesus Christ, I have grown wings to embrace the world in a whole new way! I am no longer the same anymore! Although spending time deep in a cocoon and being healed has been painful, the end result is so much better! My worst day as a butterfly is so much better than the best day as a caterpillar!
The other analogy I came up with is life as a hermit crab. When a hermit crab gets to a certain size, then its natural instinct will be to find a new shell in which it can fit inside. Being a hermit crab, I was living miserably inside of that shell that could just not contain who I was. I was in need of something better, a new way to live. Thankfully, Jesus provided me a new shell in which I can live and grow in! He has provided exactly what my soul desires! Trying to go back to acting my old self is the same as rejecting the new shell in which I was given for the shell that could no longer hold me. My soul simply knew that something wasn't right. Why in the world would I ever go back to the shelled life that just didn't fit with my soul? I need to stay with what God provides me, for it will always be good!
Okay the butterfly analogy was so much better than my hermit crab one, but nevertheless, did the point get across?! Through Christ, WE ARE NEW CREATIONS!!! No longer do we have to be the same! God pulled us out of the chaos and closer to Him! WOW!! Isn't that just amazing?!?! God loves us so much that He would personally come down and just pull us out of the dark abyss in which we were born into and save us!! I'm so blown away by His Love, Grace, Mercy and Patience!! No one has ever cared about me more than Him and no one ever will! God is all I need because He will provide the rest! I just have to trust in Him!
So yea, my whole life in a shell right here! *laughter* As I get closer to the summer, I feel like my soul is dropping more and more broken chains that were once clinging on! I'm pretty sure that God will reveal even more to me and that He will continue to show me how much I need Him!
I want to learn more about You, God for I know absolutely nothing! Teach me, show me, astound me, shock me, dazzle me and amaze me of who You are! I love you Dad!
God Bless,
Pabs
P.S. The answer to the riddle if you haven't already figured it out:
The surgeon was the boy's mother! I know, it completely tripped me out to!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Brian's Essay: The Room...
I really love this story. It is one that reached out to me several times in my life. Enjoy.
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew
near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.
This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching
A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friend s I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.
Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content..
I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.
And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.
No, please not Him. Not here.. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
'For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.' -John 3:16.
'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. '-Phil. 4:13.
Pablo Lopez
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew
near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.
This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching
A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friend s I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.
Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content..
I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.
And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.
No, please not Him. Not here.. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
'For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.' -John 3:16.
'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. '-Phil. 4:13.
Pablo Lopez
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Jewels? Pfft! Try Souls!
Howdy!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Read the rest of the blog to find out!! No cheating!
Today has been pretty relaxing with a pinch of challenges. It all started with EMP which means Early Morning Prayer. We pretty much get together in the morning and just pray about things in our lives that need prayer and it was a great prayer meeting! After that, I left for class only to realize that my car was still at Ramiro's house. So he gave me a ride and I drove my car to my apartment to get ready. Unfortunately, I was already late for class and so I just decided to go anyway and arrive late; that didn't exactly happen either. Once I arrived at the school, I went straight to Blocker and got on Facebook. That was extremely unproductive on my behalf. I was, however, able to get my stuff ready to transfer from the College of Science to the College of Agriculture and Life Science. I have been feeling this for awhile now and I'm really praying to God that He will want me to do this. I guess I'm just waiting for confirmation that this is His will. I got the stuff ready, talked to an advisor, and before you know it, I was up and out of that office faster than you can say supercalifragilistisexpialidocious! Quite a mouthful I know. So after that, I grabbed lunch with some friends and pretty much relaxed as I conversed with them. I felt like going home to get ready for soccer, but I ended up taking a power nap in the field in front of the Gateway. Talk about relaxing with God's creation! I could really feel the Oxygen level just increase ten-fold while the Carbon Dioxide level practically disappeared! So anyway, after that, I took another great rest in the game room of the complex and shot some pool, which reminds me that I need to invite people over for a game night full of billiards, Wii and X box! I stayed there for about an hour watching Animal Planet on the TV until I finally left to play soccer. Wow! What an amazing experience; I never really liked playing sports too much growing up. I guess I can say that it was my phobia for some reason-especially when you have to get a ball and score in some type of goal such as Soccer, Football, Basketball etc. I don't know what it is, but I always get extremely nervous when I'm handed the ball and am expected to go somewhere with it...so I pretty much just pass it almost immediately after I get it. However, I believe it was good for me to play and get over that slowly!
After about two hours of playing soccer and world cup, we parted ways and I was extremely excited about treasure when all of a sudden, I felt somewhat faint while driving home. It wasn't a huge deal; I just felt like I needed a shower and get some rest. Unfortunately, after I dropped off April and Chris, my chest began developing a sharp pain and my left arm starting to go numb. At first I started freaking out because that is usually some of the first signs for a heart attack, but I knew that I tend to hyperventilate and pass out over things like that. I kept driving just reassuring myself that everything was going to be okay and once I get to my apartment, I'll be okay. In my apartment, I still felt the pain and the numbness so I just freaking out to the point where I decide to call someone and make sure that someone was around to perhaps call for help in case something happened. Of course, around my apartment, I can never get signal so it was kinda frustrating for a few minutes not getting signal. Finally, I gave up and made myself take a shower to cool off then just go to Sam's house and wait for T.H. So I call Sam after my shower and find out that he's at his apartment. As soon as I hung up, I was out the door ready to chill at his place. I felt better after the shower, but I could still feel the numbness and a slight sharp pain. First thing I did when I went inside Sam's apartment was ask him if he could pray for me. I felt better afterward and just chilled on his bed while watching "I shouldn't be alive" until the rest of the party arrived. I knew that this was in God's hands and that He will provide me the necessary comfort and relief. After what seemed like a while, we started the listening portion of the night and split into groups for the hunting portion.
My team went to HEB and I'm not going to lie, I had doubts that we would actually find someone to talk to. I just prayed that God would remove the doubt and just lead me to where I need to be. One of my clues was white shoes with red soles and I just kept staring awkwardly at people's shoes looking for it! We got to the dairy section of the store and I saw this stock-guy putting up cottage cheese and guess what he was wearing? White shoes with red soles. I was simply amazed that my clue was spot on! So I gather up some boldness and went to talk to him. After introductions, I went on to say what I was doing and just letting him know that God loves him and is pursuing his heart and asked if he needed prayer for anything. At that moment, I could feel that he was astonished about what we were doing and began pouring out his heart to us. He told me that for two weeks, he has been trying to find his identity in something: school, work, the marines, anything that could satisfy that soul craving of having a purpose. It was amazing of how vulnerable he was being and so I shared a little bit of my testimony about finding my identity with Christ this semester and how I know in my heart that He satisfies all my soul's cravings. So we conversed for a bit longer, I prayed for him and let him know that Jesus doesn't want a religion with him, but rather a relationship with him. Afterward, he told us that just before I got there, he was just thinking about what he should do and where does he belong. I was absolutely blown away! It's amazing how God answers prayers with the people He puts all around us! I told him about Life Group, Antioch and encouraged him to get connected with a community of christians. After exchanging numbers, he told us that he still couldn't fathom what had happened; he was still a little overwhelmed about what we did, but he knew that this was a divine appointment. That reminds me, I need to call him later to remind him about Life Group! I did find another treasure that night actually. It was just awesome! I just felt this tug pulling me towards this one guy holding some stuff in his hands and when I approached him, he to was receptive and allowed to pray for him about school. Again, I was blessed with the opportunity to encourage him to pursue Christ because it was evident tonight that God is pursuing him! We exchanged numbers after I invited him to Life Group and Antioch so I also need to call him and remind him.
There aren't any words to describe the feeling you get when you see that God is using you; when you see that you do have a purpose in life. Tonight was no coincidence that I was able to treasure hunt! God has a plan for us, don't worry about the future because He is in control and so it would be pointless to worry about something that is not in our control. Live in the moment praising God and giving Him all the glory and honor! I feel that this is truly what God intended us to do as followers of Christ: to go out into the world, out of our comfort zone and just tell the world of His love, joy, peace, news and what He has done in your life! I'm just so pumped up right now! I believe that I could really do this on a daily basis! Jesus is amazing! Well, I'm off for now. Take care and much love!
Pablo
P.S. Did you think I would forget about the punchline to the joke? I bet you already forgot that I even had a joke so you went back to the top to reread it! Well here is the answer:
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bay-gulls! (bagels)
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Read the rest of the blog to find out!! No cheating!
Today has been pretty relaxing with a pinch of challenges. It all started with EMP which means Early Morning Prayer. We pretty much get together in the morning and just pray about things in our lives that need prayer and it was a great prayer meeting! After that, I left for class only to realize that my car was still at Ramiro's house. So he gave me a ride and I drove my car to my apartment to get ready. Unfortunately, I was already late for class and so I just decided to go anyway and arrive late; that didn't exactly happen either. Once I arrived at the school, I went straight to Blocker and got on Facebook. That was extremely unproductive on my behalf. I was, however, able to get my stuff ready to transfer from the College of Science to the College of Agriculture and Life Science. I have been feeling this for awhile now and I'm really praying to God that He will want me to do this. I guess I'm just waiting for confirmation that this is His will. I got the stuff ready, talked to an advisor, and before you know it, I was up and out of that office faster than you can say supercalifragilistisexpialidocious! Quite a mouthful I know. So after that, I grabbed lunch with some friends and pretty much relaxed as I conversed with them. I felt like going home to get ready for soccer, but I ended up taking a power nap in the field in front of the Gateway. Talk about relaxing with God's creation! I could really feel the Oxygen level just increase ten-fold while the Carbon Dioxide level practically disappeared! So anyway, after that, I took another great rest in the game room of the complex and shot some pool, which reminds me that I need to invite people over for a game night full of billiards, Wii and X box! I stayed there for about an hour watching Animal Planet on the TV until I finally left to play soccer. Wow! What an amazing experience; I never really liked playing sports too much growing up. I guess I can say that it was my phobia for some reason-especially when you have to get a ball and score in some type of goal such as Soccer, Football, Basketball etc. I don't know what it is, but I always get extremely nervous when I'm handed the ball and am expected to go somewhere with it...so I pretty much just pass it almost immediately after I get it. However, I believe it was good for me to play and get over that slowly!
After about two hours of playing soccer and world cup, we parted ways and I was extremely excited about treasure when all of a sudden, I felt somewhat faint while driving home. It wasn't a huge deal; I just felt like I needed a shower and get some rest. Unfortunately, after I dropped off April and Chris, my chest began developing a sharp pain and my left arm starting to go numb. At first I started freaking out because that is usually some of the first signs for a heart attack, but I knew that I tend to hyperventilate and pass out over things like that. I kept driving just reassuring myself that everything was going to be okay and once I get to my apartment, I'll be okay. In my apartment, I still felt the pain and the numbness so I just freaking out to the point where I decide to call someone and make sure that someone was around to perhaps call for help in case something happened. Of course, around my apartment, I can never get signal so it was kinda frustrating for a few minutes not getting signal. Finally, I gave up and made myself take a shower to cool off then just go to Sam's house and wait for T.H. So I call Sam after my shower and find out that he's at his apartment. As soon as I hung up, I was out the door ready to chill at his place. I felt better after the shower, but I could still feel the numbness and a slight sharp pain. First thing I did when I went inside Sam's apartment was ask him if he could pray for me. I felt better afterward and just chilled on his bed while watching "I shouldn't be alive" until the rest of the party arrived. I knew that this was in God's hands and that He will provide me the necessary comfort and relief. After what seemed like a while, we started the listening portion of the night and split into groups for the hunting portion.
My team went to HEB and I'm not going to lie, I had doubts that we would actually find someone to talk to. I just prayed that God would remove the doubt and just lead me to where I need to be. One of my clues was white shoes with red soles and I just kept staring awkwardly at people's shoes looking for it! We got to the dairy section of the store and I saw this stock-guy putting up cottage cheese and guess what he was wearing? White shoes with red soles. I was simply amazed that my clue was spot on! So I gather up some boldness and went to talk to him. After introductions, I went on to say what I was doing and just letting him know that God loves him and is pursuing his heart and asked if he needed prayer for anything. At that moment, I could feel that he was astonished about what we were doing and began pouring out his heart to us. He told me that for two weeks, he has been trying to find his identity in something: school, work, the marines, anything that could satisfy that soul craving of having a purpose. It was amazing of how vulnerable he was being and so I shared a little bit of my testimony about finding my identity with Christ this semester and how I know in my heart that He satisfies all my soul's cravings. So we conversed for a bit longer, I prayed for him and let him know that Jesus doesn't want a religion with him, but rather a relationship with him. Afterward, he told us that just before I got there, he was just thinking about what he should do and where does he belong. I was absolutely blown away! It's amazing how God answers prayers with the people He puts all around us! I told him about Life Group, Antioch and encouraged him to get connected with a community of christians. After exchanging numbers, he told us that he still couldn't fathom what had happened; he was still a little overwhelmed about what we did, but he knew that this was a divine appointment. That reminds me, I need to call him later to remind him about Life Group! I did find another treasure that night actually. It was just awesome! I just felt this tug pulling me towards this one guy holding some stuff in his hands and when I approached him, he to was receptive and allowed to pray for him about school. Again, I was blessed with the opportunity to encourage him to pursue Christ because it was evident tonight that God is pursuing him! We exchanged numbers after I invited him to Life Group and Antioch so I also need to call him and remind him.
There aren't any words to describe the feeling you get when you see that God is using you; when you see that you do have a purpose in life. Tonight was no coincidence that I was able to treasure hunt! God has a plan for us, don't worry about the future because He is in control and so it would be pointless to worry about something that is not in our control. Live in the moment praising God and giving Him all the glory and honor! I feel that this is truly what God intended us to do as followers of Christ: to go out into the world, out of our comfort zone and just tell the world of His love, joy, peace, news and what He has done in your life! I'm just so pumped up right now! I believe that I could really do this on a daily basis! Jesus is amazing! Well, I'm off for now. Take care and much love!
Pablo
P.S. Did you think I would forget about the punchline to the joke? I bet you already forgot that I even had a joke so you went back to the top to reread it! Well here is the answer:
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bay-gulls! (bagels)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Dum-Dumb
Howdy!
So get this, did you know that everyone has a photographic memory...its just that some people don't have film!! Hahahaha!!
I like corny jokes. I believe they are funnier than good jokes simply because, a string of corny jokes will outlast a good joke; plus, no one will want to retell your jokes! Today was a great day for me! Painting the office was so relaxing for me and gave me time to just have a little bit of quiet time with Jesus while doing some labor. I always feel comforted when I'm doing some type of work that is challenging but not too intense because it brings peace in my life somehow. The man-man night was awesome and I just can't fathom how wonderful God is. So much encouragement tonight and even some stones I can just step over now. God is great. I just pray that His will happens on earth and not ours because His will is so much greater. Well I'm off to bed since it is very late so peace!
God Bless,
Pablo
P.S. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
So get this, did you know that everyone has a photographic memory...its just that some people don't have film!! Hahahaha!!
I like corny jokes. I believe they are funnier than good jokes simply because, a string of corny jokes will outlast a good joke; plus, no one will want to retell your jokes! Today was a great day for me! Painting the office was so relaxing for me and gave me time to just have a little bit of quiet time with Jesus while doing some labor. I always feel comforted when I'm doing some type of work that is challenging but not too intense because it brings peace in my life somehow. The man-man night was awesome and I just can't fathom how wonderful God is. So much encouragement tonight and even some stones I can just step over now. God is great. I just pray that His will happens on earth and not ours because His will is so much greater. Well I'm off to bed since it is very late so peace!
God Bless,
Pablo
P.S. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Monday, April 12, 2010
In the blink of an eye...
Death,
It's something that really hits everyone differently. Some people cry, some get angry, some feel nothing and some feel like a piece of their heart has gone with them. With these different reactions and even more than cannot be explained, there really isn't a real way to "take" death. As a Christian, I always found death as the beginning of eternity; it pertains to not only your flesh, but your soul as well. And when I think about other Christians who pass away, it feels somewhat joyous that they will finally meet with God and live with Him. With Jesus in my heart, I don't fear death because He conquered it. This comforts me.
Then I think about people who die and don't know Jesus, especially friends of mine that didn't know Him. I think about how, if they didn't give their life to Christ, they will spend eternity separated from Him and all the things that He has to offer us. I feel terribly troubled. We never know when we are going to pass away. We never know what day would be our last. We never know if we are going to be able to say goodbye to loved ones. We never know if there will be time to cool off after an argument with family or friends or when will be the next time you say "I love you". This terribly troubles me. The message of Christ really is a matter of life or death. It really is reaching out to pull your friend up from falling off a cliff. It really does matter what happens after this life. I really feel convicted to be even more obedient to God. If I really love God with all my heart, then it should show.
I really have no idea how to feel tonight. I thought I did, but now its all mixed. I'd really appreciate your prayers for Joe's family and for me.
God Bless,
Pablo
It's something that really hits everyone differently. Some people cry, some get angry, some feel nothing and some feel like a piece of their heart has gone with them. With these different reactions and even more than cannot be explained, there really isn't a real way to "take" death. As a Christian, I always found death as the beginning of eternity; it pertains to not only your flesh, but your soul as well. And when I think about other Christians who pass away, it feels somewhat joyous that they will finally meet with God and live with Him. With Jesus in my heart, I don't fear death because He conquered it. This comforts me.
Then I think about people who die and don't know Jesus, especially friends of mine that didn't know Him. I think about how, if they didn't give their life to Christ, they will spend eternity separated from Him and all the things that He has to offer us. I feel terribly troubled. We never know when we are going to pass away. We never know what day would be our last. We never know if we are going to be able to say goodbye to loved ones. We never know if there will be time to cool off after an argument with family or friends or when will be the next time you say "I love you". This terribly troubles me. The message of Christ really is a matter of life or death. It really is reaching out to pull your friend up from falling off a cliff. It really does matter what happens after this life. I really feel convicted to be even more obedient to God. If I really love God with all my heart, then it should show.
I really have no idea how to feel tonight. I thought I did, but now its all mixed. I'd really appreciate your prayers for Joe's family and for me.
God Bless,
Pablo
Friday, April 9, 2010
Photosynthesize me Capt'n
Howdy!
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery!!!
I decided to start off with a joke this time. Comment if you would love to read more!
This week has been a complete blessing!! Now I realize what the Word means when it says that there are new blessings each day and yesterday was a big day for me. Not only did I get to hang out with my brothers and sisters in Christ, but I was also able to see how God is working in me. He has just broken me down and took me to the basics of His love and boy, was it great! Since then, He's just been building me up in terms of spiritual growth and strengthening my relationship with Him. There's still so much that I need to see and hear; I'm on board and willing to learn and see His wonders! In saying this, I'll share a little thing that God put in my mind this morning. If you received my text message, here is where I finish what I got.
While working in a biology lab last semester, we grew bean plants in light and dark conditions. The "light" beans grew normally: huge, green leafs, standing up right and about normal height. On the other hand, the "dark" beans weren't so lucky. They were very malnourished, had extremely small, white leaves, falling over and surprisingly, very long. I wondered why it was longer and did some researching. Being deprived of the biggest source of energy, the plant elongates itself using the energy it has available to try and find that source of light. Never finding one, it keeps using up the energy it has to find it because now, its a matter of life and death. If there happens to be a small crack that allows some light in, the plant immediately races towards it to receive the light's energy. Once it reaches the light, it starts making its own food and all, but its still not enough sunshine to fully sustain the organism as a whole. Therefore, the plant will die if someone doesn't open up the cabinets and let that plant bathe in the sunlight.
We are those plants. We are born into a world full of darkness and like the plant, we can't survive unless we have Jesus Christ who gives us life; a purpose to live. Using the life we were given at birth, we set out to find that which will give even more life. As we search for it, we force ourselves to grow based on our own will and power which, obviously, isn't enough to sustain us. We look for any outlet that can substitute that life-giving power of Jesus whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex and money. Spiritually, we become malnourished, hungry, ugly and hopeless if we never find Jesus. Even if we find Jesus one time in our life, if we don't seek Him even more than to just let His light shine through a small crack in our life, then its not enough to sustain us fully and we still die. The only way to truly live is to fully go into His light and let His Love come into our lives and give us LIFE!
Jesus is there to open the cabinet doors and let us bask in His awesomeness. Without a doubt, plants will go toward the light...question is: are you going to live in the light, or die in the darkness?
God Bless,
Pablo
Monday, April 5, 2010
Dirty Ol' Sock
Howdy!
So here I am, sitting on a couch at Mugwalls relaxing and really not looking forward to my Physics test tomorrow...but other than that, I feel victorious today! Recently, I've been getting some nice revelations that I would like to share.
We are so loved by God, but sometimes we don't know just how much. He personally came down from His throne just so that we could be saved! He came to live a humble life so that we can see how much He cares! He came to show us the way to spend eternity with Him and not separated from Him! How could God, the Almighty God who created everything care about us? It is because He created us that He loves us! We are like the dirty old sock at the garage sale that is unwanted by anyone because not only is it nasty and dirty, but also because we are a single sock, incomplete and incapable of doing what we were made to do. Jesus, however, sees us at the garage sale and instantly wants us because He knows that He can wash us squeaky-clean and complete us so that we can carry out our purpose in life! Only in Him are we complete! Like the prodigal son, He doesn't want us to be His servants, He wants us to be His brothers/sisters/mothers/fathers/etc. He wants us to get out of the emptiness of this world and come into the fullness of His glory! Let His love fill us so much that we cannot contain it, that it would be so crystal clear that we are not of this world nor do we belong here! Let Him purify us and be able to serve the Almighty God!
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we can sometimes reject God's love in some areas of our life. I remember when I doubted whether or not people really cared about me and that was simply doubting that God loved because He shows us love not only personally, but through community as well. If your fellowship of christians love you, then that's one way God is whispering to you "I Love You". Since we aren't perfect, we will tend to hurt our fellow brothers/sisters but we are called to love and forgive as Christ loves and forgives us.
Love has been on my mind for so long, but it never really gets old because there so much to God's love that we don't know and even more that we simply can't comprehend! The best way to see it is if we look through the eyes of a child.
God Bless,
Pablo
So here I am, sitting on a couch at Mugwalls relaxing and really not looking forward to my Physics test tomorrow...but other than that, I feel victorious today! Recently, I've been getting some nice revelations that I would like to share.
We are so loved by God, but sometimes we don't know just how much. He personally came down from His throne just so that we could be saved! He came to live a humble life so that we can see how much He cares! He came to show us the way to spend eternity with Him and not separated from Him! How could God, the Almighty God who created everything care about us? It is because He created us that He loves us! We are like the dirty old sock at the garage sale that is unwanted by anyone because not only is it nasty and dirty, but also because we are a single sock, incomplete and incapable of doing what we were made to do. Jesus, however, sees us at the garage sale and instantly wants us because He knows that He can wash us squeaky-clean and complete us so that we can carry out our purpose in life! Only in Him are we complete! Like the prodigal son, He doesn't want us to be His servants, He wants us to be His brothers/sisters/mothers/fathers/etc. He wants us to get out of the emptiness of this world and come into the fullness of His glory! Let His love fill us so much that we cannot contain it, that it would be so crystal clear that we are not of this world nor do we belong here! Let Him purify us and be able to serve the Almighty God!
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we can sometimes reject God's love in some areas of our life. I remember when I doubted whether or not people really cared about me and that was simply doubting that God loved because He shows us love not only personally, but through community as well. If your fellowship of christians love you, then that's one way God is whispering to you "I Love You". Since we aren't perfect, we will tend to hurt our fellow brothers/sisters but we are called to love and forgive as Christ loves and forgives us.
Love has been on my mind for so long, but it never really gets old because there so much to God's love that we don't know and even more that we simply can't comprehend! The best way to see it is if we look through the eyes of a child.
God Bless,
Pablo
Monday, March 29, 2010
Carny Folk ain't welcome 'round my Dad's yard
Howdy!
Its been too long since I last posted a blog! It has been a crazy couple of weeks, from manifestations of the Holy Spirit to incredible testimonies of healing and encouragement! Today has been, so far, amazing!
Today I woke up to one of my favorite songs: Jehovah Jireh (meaning The Lord who provides . It completely encourages me and definitely wakes me up in the morning! After class today, I was really debating about going home or staying on campus to study. Thankfully, God answered that by having me run into Tim. We pretty much talked and walked to the street where the Rich building is at and he prayed over me for my sinuses. Praise God for afterwards, I felt my sinuses become nearly empty and I felt my nasal passage just clear all the way to my throat! Such a blessing! To make things even better, Justin was parked right behind us and asked us to pray for his cough! Prayed over it and he said it significantly felt better! God is so good, its crazy! Seeing Justin there, I felt that I should ride with him to go home, and I must say, it was an extreme blessing! We started talking about how God has seasons for us. A season for us to bear fruit and a season where we grow roots. It was really encouraging to hear that because it just confirmed me that God knows what is best for not only ourselves, but for His Kingdom! Upon arriving to my apartment, I felt really compelled to ask him if he wanted to stop by for a drink of tea. Thankfully, he said yes and we began a whole new topic to talk about.
Habitual sin was the name and boy, did he bring on the game! It truly felt that this morning was orchestrated by Dad Himself! As if, He came down from His throne and had a chat with me over a cup of tea. I'm so thankful for God and for Justin's obedient heart towards the Lord; he encourages me every time I see him. Victory is given to us. It is our choice to either take it and run with it, or just leave it. Sin has no power over us, yet we choose to fear it, thus giving it power. After Justin left, I got a revelation-an image of a carnival/amusement park.
I saw that people were lining up at the ticket booth so that they could exchange their money for the tickets and enjoy the amusement park. The thing is, the people weren't exchanging regular money for the tickets, they were exchanging diamonds, rubies, gold, and any other precious stone or metal that you could think of. I could also see that the workers had a dark sense to them. I check my pockets and reach in to grab hold of the same currency: precious stones and metals.
I believe that what it means is that, sin is like going to a carnival. You have real money, jewels, and you spend it to get fake money, tickets, and enjoy a day at the carnival which doesn't last forever; not to mention, you get sore, weary, bored, and you begin to just wander aimlessly around the park, seeing what else you can do that can bring some sort of entertainment. There are times when I feel like that: I'm wasting away going to the carnival when there's a kingdom with limitless joy and happiness just on the opposite side of the lot. I find myself spending precious amounts of time seeking sin instead of using that time to seek God or doing something that isn't of this world. I saw this verse that really caught my eye:
"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food." -Isaiah 55:2
God is the only one that can satisfy us fully. These "rides" can only bring temporary satisfaction, if you can even call it that. I'm tired of seeing the same things at that carnival. I'm bored of the same attractions that offer prizes but are rigged to where you can never win. I'm exhausted of wandering aimlessly on the grounds just wondering what I should do there. I'm ready to go home; I'm ready to give my tickets back to satan; I'm ready to declare victory; I'm ready to go to Christ's throne and enjoy His Love which is not only effortless to receive, but also way better than any prize I can win at some trashy carnival!
God is calling out to us. He sees the pain in our hearts when we try something only to find that it doesn't even satisfy us for long. He has an even better satisfaction to offer and the coolest thing is: its free! God loves us and will never leave us nor forsake us. We just have to decide where we are going to spend our time: at some nasty, ghetto carnival or in a palace that has so many things to do, it would take an eternity to experience it all? I've decided what I'm going to do. Have you?
The day isn't over yet
Its been too long since I last posted a blog! It has been a crazy couple of weeks, from manifestations of the Holy Spirit to incredible testimonies of healing and encouragement! Today has been, so far, amazing!
Today I woke up to one of my favorite songs: Jehovah Jireh (meaning The Lord who provides . It completely encourages me and definitely wakes me up in the morning! After class today, I was really debating about going home or staying on campus to study. Thankfully, God answered that by having me run into Tim. We pretty much talked and walked to the street where the Rich building is at and he prayed over me for my sinuses. Praise God for afterwards, I felt my sinuses become nearly empty and I felt my nasal passage just clear all the way to my throat! Such a blessing! To make things even better, Justin was parked right behind us and asked us to pray for his cough! Prayed over it and he said it significantly felt better! God is so good, its crazy! Seeing Justin there, I felt that I should ride with him to go home, and I must say, it was an extreme blessing! We started talking about how God has seasons for us. A season for us to bear fruit and a season where we grow roots. It was really encouraging to hear that because it just confirmed me that God knows what is best for not only ourselves, but for His Kingdom! Upon arriving to my apartment, I felt really compelled to ask him if he wanted to stop by for a drink of tea. Thankfully, he said yes and we began a whole new topic to talk about.
Habitual sin was the name and boy, did he bring on the game! It truly felt that this morning was orchestrated by Dad Himself! As if, He came down from His throne and had a chat with me over a cup of tea. I'm so thankful for God and for Justin's obedient heart towards the Lord; he encourages me every time I see him. Victory is given to us. It is our choice to either take it and run with it, or just leave it. Sin has no power over us, yet we choose to fear it, thus giving it power. After Justin left, I got a revelation-an image of a carnival/amusement park.
I saw that people were lining up at the ticket booth so that they could exchange their money for the tickets and enjoy the amusement park. The thing is, the people weren't exchanging regular money for the tickets, they were exchanging diamonds, rubies, gold, and any other precious stone or metal that you could think of. I could also see that the workers had a dark sense to them. I check my pockets and reach in to grab hold of the same currency: precious stones and metals.
I believe that what it means is that, sin is like going to a carnival. You have real money, jewels, and you spend it to get fake money, tickets, and enjoy a day at the carnival which doesn't last forever; not to mention, you get sore, weary, bored, and you begin to just wander aimlessly around the park, seeing what else you can do that can bring some sort of entertainment. There are times when I feel like that: I'm wasting away going to the carnival when there's a kingdom with limitless joy and happiness just on the opposite side of the lot. I find myself spending precious amounts of time seeking sin instead of using that time to seek God or doing something that isn't of this world. I saw this verse that really caught my eye:
"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food." -Isaiah 55:2
God is the only one that can satisfy us fully. These "rides" can only bring temporary satisfaction, if you can even call it that. I'm tired of seeing the same things at that carnival. I'm bored of the same attractions that offer prizes but are rigged to where you can never win. I'm exhausted of wandering aimlessly on the grounds just wondering what I should do there. I'm ready to go home; I'm ready to give my tickets back to satan; I'm ready to declare victory; I'm ready to go to Christ's throne and enjoy His Love which is not only effortless to receive, but also way better than any prize I can win at some trashy carnival!
God is calling out to us. He sees the pain in our hearts when we try something only to find that it doesn't even satisfy us for long. He has an even better satisfaction to offer and the coolest thing is: its free! God loves us and will never leave us nor forsake us. We just have to decide where we are going to spend our time: at some nasty, ghetto carnival or in a palace that has so many things to do, it would take an eternity to experience it all? I've decided what I'm going to do. Have you?
The day isn't over yet
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