Completely Ruined by His Love

SO I have had one of the most life changing experiences ever and I still can't figure everything that happened with me. I just spent 2 weeks in a foreign country doing the will of the Father and what do I get out of it? a changed heart forever.

At the start of my mission trip to Gulu, Uganda, a team member came to me and gave me a word that God is still doing a work in me. At the time, I didn't realize what that exactly meant and what kind of work He would be doing, but I received it and believed it to be true. Now that I think back in retrospect, I see how true that word was and how much it has impacted me. I'm a changed man. I feel so anxious about going out and sharing the Love of God, of going out and advancing His kingdom and doing His will. I'm not satisfied by the things of this world like I used to be. I'm not satisfied just living an average american life or an average worldly life. I just want to live and operate in the kingdom and nothing else. I just want to spread the seed, harvest the fields and sow into the kingdom. Before, I would kid around with a friend of mine saying that I would join him in planting a church in Lubbock, Tx, but that was simply a joke for me. The reality was: I was stricken with fear because I didn't know how to do that. I didn't really want to bring so much pressure on myself. I didn't want to get away from the comfort of an established community. I didn't want to just leave my life behind because what would people say? what would my friends say? what would my family say? I became crippled at the thought of leaving a community and going into a strange territory and facing challenges all on my own. Of course, here I was saying that perfect love casts out all fear while I'm still clawing onto this one fear. However, once I saw true love in action, true love in the works, this fear just slipped out of my fingers and I finally felt free from it.

I told several friends that I feel envisioned, empowered and encouraged but to be honest, I'm not sure for what. I can definitely see myself starting something in College Station but what and how? All I know is that God is with me and He isn't going to push me into a new land without Him first going there to prepare a way.

I just want to do His will. I don't know how that will look like in the time to come, but I just know that with God, all things will be possible and nothing will be able to stop us!

Pabs